Nerdy Inside Jokes

This week I was hanging out with paleontologists and they were making some paleontology jokes and I realized how much I enjoy intelligent "inside" jokes.
Being part of a specialized field or group provides opportunities for specialized often situational jokes... I would tell some but situational jokes just don't work well without the long description and then they are hardly funny. I have enjoyed this kind of joke with archaeologists, paleontologists, family members and other Mormons.
I wondered for a bit if the satisfaction came because they are inside jokes. I understand them, but not everyone would.... and that might be part of it. However, I usually feel uncomfortable around inside jokes when people who aren't in on it are around. Plus, this kind of joke is even more satisfying when everyone present does understand it.
So if the satisfaction doesn't come from a feeling of superiority (I'm hoping it doesn't) where does it come from?
The type of joke I'm talking about requires an in depth knowledge of some subject (church history, an obscure computer game, bones, rocks, etc). Thus, there is a level of accomplishment that comes from knowing I worked hard to understand the science or facts behind the joke. Perhaps the shared laughter is even an acknowledgment of shared accomplishment.

By the way, the picture is one I took in Korea at a children's park (part of a zoo). The way the T-rex is popping out of the volcano... or maybe he is spewing lava from his mouth, makes me laugh every time. It's not quite the type of joke I talk about here but its getting there.

Free T-shirts

Free food among college students is known as a great motivator, and so, in my experience, free food is often announced with most college activities. However,  free food isn't vvery high on my list of motivators.
So today, when an activity was announced with free food I thought "probably won't go to that." And then they announced there would be free T-shirts. "Maybe I will go."
For some reason free T-shirts is oddly motivating for me. In highschool we got free T-shirts sometimes... they were usually white and I never wore them, but since then I have got some that I was pretty excited about.
PBS kids in the park (a service activity)
LDS Institute (a church educational class)
iDigNauvoo (a service/job archaeological dig)
PiDay (a Math department activity)
and a few others...
I think the reason I like free T-shirts is because they usually come with a group commitment or commonality. It makes me feel like I am part of something bigger like I talked about in an old blog post. Plus, wearing it after is a reminder of that commonality.
It's a little silly really, and perhaps odd because at other times I steer clear of shirts with words on them.... but free t-shirts are just different.

Watching Ducks Grow

Near my house there is a little artificial stream that I walk beside, often when I'm talking on the phone.
This spring there has been several duck families there, mostly mallards, and they aren't scared of people.
One family, with an odd gray duckling, and like 10 other ducklings I kept particular track of. The gray duckling made it easy to make sure they were the same family. The last time I walked by though they were gone, so they most of grown up and moved away.
They aren't the best pictures but it was fun to watch them grow.
Also I realized that none of these pictures have the daddy duck but he was there most days.

May 14

May 20

May 25

May 28

Fieldtrip Conversations

This past week I went on a geology fieldtrip for a class I didn't take. It was five days of driving, hiking/rock stops, and eating out. There was one professor (M), three students who took the class (D, C, S) one of who is another girl, and me. All of us knew each other before. Probably the least degree of previous association was me and the professor.
We had quite a few conversations (not surprisingly) and I was struck by who talked when. The topic seemed like it had a lot more to do with who talked rather then the situation (hiking, driving, or eating).
Below I list the five most common topics and then the order in which it felt like we participated in the conversation.

Rocks (specifically granites)
M, S, C, D, R
History (mostly war)
M, C, R, D, S
Religion (we are all LDS)
R, M, C, D, S
Movies/books (predominately classics)
M, D, R, C, S
Music
D, M, C, S, R

It is unsurprising that our professor talked the most about the rocks, he was teaching us stuff, and it is also unsurprising that he was one of the most frequent conversationalists in general, because he did drive the whole time and thus even if some of the rest of us were napping if there was a conversation he was generally a part of it.
The rest of us talked, it appears, roughly in order of knowledge about the subject. Hence, I spoke least about rocks and music and most about religion and books/history.
Anyway, some random thoughts. I'm sure other things affected it too (natural talkativeness, position in the car, etc). But it was intriguing.

Accomplishment

As I've mentioned before I find satisfaction and accomplishment in getting dirty (whether that is because of hard physical labor or because I was painting) even if it actually isn't that productive.
The other day my friend told me that she likes to travel because the feeling of movement and change makes her feel accomplished.
After going on a hike with some people who sped up the mountain far faster then I preferred and was capable I asked why they liked hiking. I like it for the peace and the natureness of it and the way they treated it, that didn't seem a likely motive for them. So I asked what they liked about hiking, and she said that getting sweaty makes her feel accomplished.
I asked another acquaintance what made her feel accomplished and she said doing well on a test. She then expanded that and said she didn't feel the same way about writing a paper because tests are timed with very specific points where writing you could have always looked through it one more time.
So although this one could be seen as normal educational success it also could be seen as more like checking something off a list feels productive.... I should have asked if she likes checklists.
This variety of things; getting dirty, traveling, getting sweaty, checking off boxes, are not actually inherently productive and yet each of us feels accomplished when we succeed in doing our own thing.
It has made me more curious about what other random things individuals associate with accomplishment. Plus, learning about them can make me more sympathetic to how people do things..... like the hiker who I thought was missing the whole point of hiking until I learned her purpose was different.

Higher Faster

Higher. Faster. Higher. Faster.
Growing up, this was the mantra I repeated as I closed my eyes and pumped my legs on the swing.
When I opened my eyes I was always swinging higher and moving faster then I was before I closed my eyes.
This week I've been thinking about this phrase and personal development and it seems like there are three steps.
1) The words. I don't think saying "Higher. Faster." actually changed anything but it kept me focused and determined on what I wanted the end goal to be.
2) Pumping. Pumping my legs is what actually changed things.
3) Closed eyes. This made it more obvious when I did open my eyes to see how things had changed. Plus it helped me avoid distractions.
So how does that all relate to personal development? Here are a few ideas.
1) The words. Goals, except I don't really like goals. Perhaps it could represent choosing to work on something. Aligning my will to what I know I should do.
2) Pumping. The actual get-in-the-dirt, mind-numbing slogging of whatever it happens to be.
3) Closed eyes. Focus and reflection. It's easy to look back 10 years and say wow, I've grown a lot, but sometimes it's harder to look back 3 weeks and know that I've changed.... but maybe that's not the point, instead I should just look back 3 weeks and ask myself if I'm changing.

Its not a perfect analogy but perhaps it's at least an interesting way of seeing things.

Too bad I don't have any artsy pictures of kids on swings....

Of Dinosaurs and Mothers

I really wanted a picture of a maiasaura but unfortunately I don't have one. Maiasaura means "good mother lizard" and was named because of how frequently these dinosaurs are found in nesting areas.

Dinosaurs have a very specific constellation of traits that makes some animals dinosaurs and some not. Two traits an animal absolutely has to have to be considered a dinosaur is (1)being a diapsid (two holes in the skull not counting eye orbits) and (2) an upright posture (no crocodile-like bent legs for them). So when people ask if dimetrodons  are dinosaurs the answer is a resounding "No." They are synapsids (only one hole) with a sprawling posture...... but when someone asks me what a dimetrodon is, it is entirely too easy, because it gets the general idea across, to say "a dinosaur with a sail." Inaccurate yes, but we honestly don't have another word in the english language/vernacular that is more accurate.

Mother's Day is an odd day, because like dinosaur, mother is a vague term. It is a very precise term that means one thing. A woman who has had a child. And yet it also means someone who loves, who cares, who nurtures, who laughs, who guides, who sacrifices for her children, for her family, for her friends, for strangers.

This disconnect between the precise definition of mother and the vague all encompassing feeling of mother causes a great deal of hurt, confusion, guilt, and longing on this day that I'm sure is meant to be celebratory.

It's just really easy as someone who doesn't fit into the whole "woman who has a child" definition to feel that Mother's Day isn't about me.

It's also easy, I imagine, as someone who fits the precise definition of having children but feels lacking in that more vague feeling of motherhood to feel inadequate.

So that just leaves us in a nightmare tangle of unhelpfulness... so I would suggest that we dwell less on the precise definition of mother and more on the vague feeling. However, this often feels unsatisfactory because this feeling is a terrible definition. Unfortunately, I don't think motherhood can be defined in more precise terms without destroying that feeling, and yet this very vagueness means that when one person doesn't embody every word we associate with mother that's ok. They don't need to.

My mother, my sister, my two sister-in-laws, my friends, my aunts, my grandmothers, my friend's mothers, are all wonderful mothers. Some of them are good listeners. Some have a talent for giving good advice. Some make everyone feel comfortable. Some know how to get things done. Some are good at focusing on the individual. Some are determined.

What I'm trying to say is unlike the precise constellation of traits you have to have to be a dinosaur there isn't just one way to be a mother. And that includes who you're a mother to.

So I refuse to define what a mother is to me (that would defeat the whole point, besides I'm not sure it's possible) but I know that I love my nieces and nephews, and I enjoy watching them, getting to know them, playing with them, reading to them, and just holding them. I also know that there are people in my life that I care about enough to disagree with them, tell them to go to bed, and would (and have) drop(ped) everything for.

Happy Mother's Day and I'll forgive you if you call dimetrodons dinosaurs. For a more doctrinal focused take on this topic try Sister Eubank's talk.