Accomplishment

As I've mentioned before I find satisfaction and accomplishment in getting dirty (whether that is because of hard physical labor or because I was painting) even if it actually isn't that productive.
The other day my friend told me that she likes to travel because the feeling of movement and change makes her feel accomplished.
After going on a hike with some people who sped up the mountain far faster then I preferred and was capable I asked why they liked hiking. I like it for the peace and the natureness of it and the way they treated it, that didn't seem a likely motive for them. So I asked what they liked about hiking, and she said that getting sweaty makes her feel accomplished.
I asked another acquaintance what made her feel accomplished and she said doing well on a test. She then expanded that and said she didn't feel the same way about writing a paper because tests are timed with very specific points where writing you could have always looked through it one more time.
So although this one could be seen as normal educational success it also could be seen as more like checking something off a list feels productive.... I should have asked if she likes checklists.
This variety of things; getting dirty, traveling, getting sweaty, checking off boxes, are not actually inherently productive and yet each of us feels accomplished when we succeed in doing our own thing.
It has made me more curious about what other random things individuals associate with accomplishment. Plus, learning about them can make me more sympathetic to how people do things..... like the hiker who I thought was missing the whole point of hiking until I learned her purpose was different.

Higher Faster

Higher. Faster. Higher. Faster.
Growing up, this was the mantra I repeated as I closed my eyes and pumped my legs on the swing.
When I opened my eyes I was always swinging higher and moving faster then I was before I closed my eyes.
This week I've been thinking about this phrase and personal development and it seems like there are three steps.
1) The words. I don't think saying "Higher. Faster." actually changed anything but it kept me focused and determined on what I wanted the end goal to be.
2) Pumping. Pumping my legs is what actually changed things.
3) Closed eyes. This made it more obvious when I did open my eyes to see how things had changed. Plus it helped me avoid distractions.
So how does that all relate to personal development? Here are a few ideas.
1) The words. Goals, except I don't really like goals. Perhaps it could represent choosing to work on something. Aligning my will to what I know I should do.
2) Pumping. The actual get-in-the-dirt, mind-numbing slogging of whatever it happens to be.
3) Closed eyes. Focus and reflection. It's easy to look back 10 years and say wow, I've grown a lot, but sometimes it's harder to look back 3 weeks and know that I've changed.... but maybe that's not the point, instead I should just look back 3 weeks and ask myself if I'm changing.

Its not a perfect analogy but perhaps it's at least an interesting way of seeing things.

Too bad I don't have any artsy pictures of kids on swings....

Of Dinosaurs and Mothers

I really wanted a picture of a maiasaura but unfortunately I don't have one. Maiasaura means "good mother lizard" and was named because of how frequently these dinosaurs are found in nesting areas.

Dinosaurs have a very specific constellation of traits that makes some animals dinosaurs and some not. Two traits an animal absolutely has to have to be considered a dinosaur is (1)being a diapsid (two holes in the skull not counting eye orbits) and (2) an upright posture (no crocodile-like bent legs for them). So when people ask if dimetrodons  are dinosaurs the answer is a resounding "No." They are synapsids (only one hole) with a sprawling posture...... but when someone asks me what a dimetrodon is, it is entirely too easy, because it gets the general idea across, to say "a dinosaur with a sail." Inaccurate yes, but we honestly don't have another word in the english language/vernacular that is more accurate.

Mother's Day is an odd day, because like dinosaur, mother is a vague term. It is a very precise term that means one thing. A woman who has had a child. And yet it also means someone who loves, who cares, who nurtures, who laughs, who guides, who sacrifices for her children, for her family, for her friends, for strangers.

This disconnect between the precise definition of mother and the vague all encompassing feeling of mother causes a great deal of hurt, confusion, guilt, and longing on this day that I'm sure is meant to be celebratory.

It's just really easy as someone who doesn't fit into the whole "woman who has a child" definition to feel that Mother's Day isn't about me.

It's also easy, I imagine, as someone who fits the precise definition of having children but feels lacking in that more vague feeling of motherhood to feel inadequate.

So that just leaves us in a nightmare tangle of unhelpfulness... so I would suggest that we dwell less on the precise definition of mother and more on the vague feeling. However, this often feels unsatisfactory because this feeling is a terrible definition. Unfortunately, I don't think motherhood can be defined in more precise terms without destroying that feeling, and yet this very vagueness means that when one person doesn't embody every word we associate with mother that's ok. They don't need to.

My mother, my sister, my two sister-in-laws, my friends, my aunts, my grandmothers, my friend's mothers, are all wonderful mothers. Some of them are good listeners. Some have a talent for giving good advice. Some make everyone feel comfortable. Some know how to get things done. Some are good at focusing on the individual. Some are determined.

What I'm trying to say is unlike the precise constellation of traits you have to have to be a dinosaur there isn't just one way to be a mother. And that includes who you're a mother to.

So I refuse to define what a mother is to me (that would defeat the whole point, besides I'm not sure it's possible) but I know that I love my nieces and nephews, and I enjoy watching them, getting to know them, playing with them, reading to them, and just holding them. I also know that there are people in my life that I care about enough to disagree with them, tell them to go to bed, and would (and have) drop(ped) everything for.

Happy Mother's Day and I'll forgive you if you call dimetrodons dinosaurs. For a more doctrinal focused take on this topic try Sister Eubank's talk.

Seeing Differences

A couple of weeks ago I spent two weeks in Korea. I haven't done much international travel (I'm not sure Canada before I was 12 really counts). I was struck by--you'll be shocked--differences, as well as similarities.

When we first got off the plane and my brother-in-law was driving us through the city I was struck by how absolutely normal it felt. Only when I focused did I notice that most of the cars were muted colors and small (not really any pickup trucks or suburbans).

Walking around at the park there were violets, dandelions, plantains and magpies... pretty ordinary. Although the magpies did seem to be a slightly different variety.

The people, well they looked Asian. After I'd been there a week instead of noticing that everyone looked Asian I noticed when people were white.

Seoul was a city with big buildings, crowded streets and busy people. And yet, they did a remarkable job with making green space within the crowded streets.

Rocks were typically metamorphic with some igneous thrown in where in the western US sedimentary with a bit of igneous is more common (well where I am).

We went to some museums filled with projectile points, swords, cannons, and groundstone. All things I've seen in museums before but the projectile points were ground instead of flaked. The swords didn't have cross hilts. The cannons were a lot earlier and included rocket fired arrows. The groundstone was different... I just don't know enough about it to explain it. 

And touring Seoul with midget kin including a baby, it was obvious how much Koreans as a whole love children, particularly babies. They all clucked at, and smiled with my baby niece... and yet as a whole there wasn't many children around.
I'd sum it all up, but the problem is some of it wasn't sums... they were differences.
I was fascinated by how much the same a completely foreign culture and country was, and yet because it was the same it was easier to notice the differences.
Is that what always makes differences more apparent?