Window Seats

My sister asked me to make her a window seat in her kitchen nook. When I told my roommate that I was planning on making it she said "You aren't a carpenter." What has that got to do with anything? :)
I did some online research about how to make window seats and found a blog about someone making one. I took that general plan and created a basic pattern. Then my Dad and I set out to make it. With my Dad's expertise and tools and with two heads and four hands (well plus some additional ones from friends and family) we made a window seat. I think it looks really nice, but it was a bigger project then I thought it would be. My nephew you helped us work on the frame work and then saw it finished said it was really nice to see the fruits of his labor.

An Aesthetic Break (Our cut 2 by 4s)

The frame

Frame with top and bead board leaning up against the base

The complete (more or less) with the kitchen table in position

Apparently I didn't take any with the curtains up.

It was cool to see it come to fruition especially when it just started as some boring 2 by 4s. To watch a bare frame, the smidgen of an idea, become a reality.

Time and Change

Shortly after my twenty-first birthday I began an 18-month mission for my church. It began with a three week training period in the MTC (Missionary Training Center). The morning I entered the MTC I ate breakfast with my family, hung out with a friend and then drove to the MTC. There I entered a closed campus, got shots, stood in long lines, went to meetings and was surrounded by complete strangers. That night when I took out my journal I started an entry with the date and time like usual and then wrote about my day outside the MTC, then I started a new page with the same date and time and wrote about my day within the MTC. The experiences were too different they felt like at least different days maybe even weeks.

Late this week I returned to my college life after spending a week or two with my sister and her kids. I spent days talking to my sister, holding babies, wrapping presents, dropping kids off at school, and screwing in door-stoppers. Then I was back, going to campus, living with adult roommates, being asked about my life plans, doing things with friends, working on my own projects in relative quiet.... Surely I wasn't with my sister just four days ago!

Both these experiences felt like more time should have passed because so much had changed.... Although it makes sense that our brains link time and amounts of change together it is also kind of weird.

Wrapping Presents

My dad has always been the one to wrap presents.... My mom buys them and my dad wraps them while listening to Christmas music.
One Christmas eve my sister and i stayed up talking so late that my parents knocked on our bedroom door and asked if we should help wrap presents for our brothers because they didn't have time to wrap all the presents.
Once, my siblings and I were wrapping the presents we had bought for each other. One brother was reading on the top bunk while some of the rest of us wrapped his present. I begged my sister to wrap my present while I was still in the room. I even climbed into the closet but she refused, saying that I would peek.... And I probably would have. What is funny is that last year or maybe the year before one of my brothers gave me my present in the mail packaging and made me wrap it. My own present.... And I didn't peek. I must have grown up some...
I remember wrapping presents with my sister. She showed me how to line up the wrapping paper so that the stripes matched and the little penguins weren't weirdly overlapped.
I can't decide if I think wrapping presents is actually really boring....I kind of think I do.... I know how to do a nice job but who cares that much. I find it much more entertaining to wrap things poorly.... As in mismatched (if not downright clashing) wrapping paper pieced together..... Basically I like to wrap presents so bad that it's funny... But I always completely cover the gift... Because it has to be a surprise!
I also think it is fun to wrap odd shaped presents sometimes, if I can think of a sneaky or visually appealing way to do so. Or, making obvious presents look (or sound) like something else or otherwise make it hard to guess is entertaining. Like the time we put bells in with the puzzle for my dad so he couldn't hear the pieces shifting around over the bells.... Or when we wrapped a stack of tumblers for my mom in a long tube and then added a hook so the whole thing looked like a candy cane.
Anyway.... Those were some random thoughts and memories of wrapping presents. Happy December.

A Beast Named ...

Three years back I heard rumors about a mysterious monster hidden in the depths of the mountains. Vague descriptions told of a mottled brown beast, entirely unappealing. It was no majestic dragon, enigmatic sphinx, or noble griffin. However, according to the castle armorer the beast was thought to guard a sizable treasure and it needed to be vanquished for the sake of the poor mountain dwellers. I reluctantly agreed and he placed in my hands a long spear. It glowed with a faint blue light.

"What is this?" I asked.

"A magic spear, of course," the armorer said. He also spoke of an old knight who knew more of the beast than anyone. Then he shooed me away. And thus I went forth to combat the beast.

The old knight found me as I left the city. "Beware the great head, with it's fierce teeth," he said. I gulped and set out.

It was a long trek into the mountains and the beast was elusive. The occasional track on the rocky ground and far off glimpses revealed only the motley brown I had been told to expect but despite myself I was intrigued. One foggy day, as I made my way down a ravine I found myself unexpectedly at the very maw of the beast's lair. It leapt from its' cave, mouth gaping, long neck darting out towards me. I jumped back, and clumsily threatened him with my spear. One fateful blow bounced off the creatures teeth. The head darted back into the hole and I heard a great scraping and a thump as of a great footstep. I turned and fled. Luckily it did not pursue. I knew now that my clumsy attempts with the spear would not be sufficient, but at least I knew now where the beast lay. As I made my way back toward the castle my  shoulders in shame how had I thought I was prepared for this? A passing woodsman saw me and joined me for a stretch along the rocky trail. He asked what I was doing and I explained my mission. He looked on me with compassion. "Didn't the armorer show you how to use the spear?"

"Um, no" I said, feeling sheepish. "I thought I would just learn on the way." As I said the words I realized just how ignorant I was, using a magic spear as a walking stick was no way to prepare to fight a beast!

"There is a hermit high in the Canyon of Mirrors," he said, "go to him and he will train you."

"Thank you," I cried, and shook his hand vigorously before I turned from my castle-ward trail and headed to the Canyon of Mirrors.

For months I studied with the hermit. At first all I learned was what I was doing wrong, but slowly I began to understand the spear, and how to wield it effectively. The only thing that kept me from my training was an attack of hippogriffs that kept me busy with some of the other knights in training for a few weeks and when I travelled home to help my parents with the harvest.

After such a long time I decided it was time once more to confront the beast. Leaving the hermit and the Canyon of Mirrors I approached the beast's lair for the second time. Again the beast, sprung from its lair, not one but two heads threatening me with fierce teeth, but this time I met it with a steady spear. With the magically lengthened spear I swept out and cut through bone and sinew. The beast's head lay at my feet. I thrust my spear upward in triumph only to see two heads spring fully-formed from the severed neck. I staggered back for a moment, but then stepped back into the fray. Thrice more I cut out with my spear and thrice more heads fell at my feet, and yet each time new heads sprang out of the creatures neck to take the fallen's places. For the second time I fled the lair and for the second time the beast failed to follow.

I returned to the Canyon of the mirrors but alas, the hermit knew how to wield the magical spear, but not how to defeat such a creature. Then, I sought out the armorer. He offered belief in my ability but his advice was based on the rumored beast, not the beast I had come to know. For days and weeks I wandered, not knowing what course to take. Soon, I realized I had returned to tracking the beast. Watching it from clifftops and from caverns. But as I watched I began to learn its patterns, and count its heads. Additional heads kept popping up, and I decided it was time to hunt down the old knight once more. He welcomed me into his hut and told me once again to beware of the beast’s heads.

“Heads?” I asked.

“Aye,” he said.

That was when I noticed his sword, leaning in the corner of his hut, a bloody rag on the ground next to it.

“You keep chopping heads,” I accused.

“Aye, if I don’t find them you surely would. He will run out of new ones eventually and then you can pare him back to one.”

The advice was strange but something rang true and so once more I returned to the lair and I fought. At dawn I began, fighting until piles of heads lay scattered on the field, and exhaustion spread through my very soul. As the sun set, turning the rocks red, the beast looked at me with a single set of eyes that spoke of loss but also relief. We sank together to the ground, and I patted the head of my foe. No longer was he the fierce beast set on destruction he had been at our first meeting.

The next several weeks I worked with the brown creature and we became friends or companions of sorts. I even brought him home to plow my parent’s fields.

When we returned, I left him in his lair and went to see the armorer. He complained of the beast and told me again that I must conquer him. I told him I had, but not in the way he had envisioned. I brought him and a few nobles to see the beast. They were not immediately convinced but I pled with them, defended him. He did not deserve death. I even showed them how I had trained him to the plow. Finally, they agreed that if I brought back glowstone dust,  spider’s blood, and a griffin’s feather and used them to anoint the creature, I could save him. I nearly sank to the ground in despair. Did not they understand the months and years of training, and tracking, the great battle, and the weeks of working with the creature. I was tired, but they were adamant. And so, I left the lair once more and hunted down the strange ingredients. Three times I brought back spider’s blood, only for them to shun my offering. It is not the right type of spider they claimed, but finally it was deemed acceptable. I anointed the creature, and he was accepted as harmless. I patted his head once more, and whispered goodbye to him. It was time for me to move on. I led him to the old knight’s door. “He is yours now,” I said.

The old knight smiled, “you have done a great feat, thank you. He will be of great value to me, and the villages he tormented will now benefit from his labor.”

“Yes.” I smiled a sad smile.

“And what is his name?” he asked.

“I call him, Thesis.”

Well that was a lot longer than I was intending.... I hope you didn't get too bored. This is a fantasized retelling of my Master's thesis experience. The armorer is my thesis advisor, the old knight is a paleontologist from my field area who I worked with extensively. The hermit was a book about databases that I read in the early stages of the project. Notice that I defend the beast near the end. The strange ingredients represent the annoying nit-picky hoops, deadlines and miscellaneous signatures I had to gather after my thesis defense. The ending is a little less detailed and a little more imaginative then the first part (because I got tired of writing and because I got into the story more). I started writing this as stress relief because it tickled my sense of humor to think of signatures from people I've never met as weird potion ingredients instead of dumb hoops to jump through. After my defense the paleontologist (old knight) I referenced earlier sent me the following as a text "I'm glad you were foolish. (er .... wise0 enough to undertake this. You,... [the armorer], me and others have created an amazing thing. No one else would have done it.... You should be very proud of this. It is like fighting the 7 headed hydra of Greek mythology ... chop off one head and two appear!...."  But I just couldn't bare to actually kill the beast... I kind of like him.

Top of the Ladder

I'm at the top of a ladder again.
Started out small, not knowing much, not comfortable with the people I was surrounded by, don't quite know what's going on and then I climb the ladder and I'm comfortable. I talk back. I know people. I like them. I'm friendly with the newbies so I tell him how it works.
It happened in elementary, middle, and high school. It happened on my mission, and in Nauvoo, it happened in wards and it happened as as undergrad but I always forget when I'm at the bottom of the ladder how much I like about being at the top. And yet, I kind of hate it too because when I'm at the top of the ladder it means I have to get off/jump off/climb off/fall off. And looking around to jump is really pretty miserable.
So even though the bottom isn't near as much fun as the top, I'm not worried about jumping off because I'm just making sure the rung I'm on is above water.... and at the top maybe the fun and comfortableness of it somehow balances out the lack of another rung to climb on?

Ubiquitous Art

Recently I have been doing some creative/artsy things... but I can't think of anything to really say about them as a whole... sorry. But I still wanted to show them off.... Plus, I haven't had pictures in my blog for a while so this way you get them all at once.
These are two figurines (about 2 in high) that one of my friends got with a game (based on Brandon Sanderson's . He said he wished they were painted so I volunteered. He has very high expectations and is pretty particular so I was a little worried he wouldn't approve but he liked them so that was good. Unfortunately they were a little too big for my camera to focus on the whole thing so the pictures are kind of blurry.
Medium: acrylic paint on plastic

Kelsier

Inquisitor

I have also been working on some illuminated letters for the first letter in my Robin Hood book. I thought they would give it an interesting medieval artistic field, but I in no way made them as detailed (or colorful) as real illuminated works. Here is one of them.

Medium: Gimp 2 (Raster illustration)

Also I went on a hike a few weeks ago and ran across some mountain sheep which was pretty awesome. This isn't really artistic per se I was just lucky to see them and the shoot and snap philosophy worked pretty cool, but yeah. I think it is cool that you can see how some of them have neck trackers.

Medium: Camera, Olympus

Finally, I have been finishing up my thesis and working on my presentation for my defense and thus, have been playing around some figures for that. Here are two of my best.

Medium: Inkscape (Vector illustration)

Illustrating different types of data I've included in the database. An early version of this one was already been shown in my blog here.

Illustrating the maps I used to create a master map for the Carnegie Quarry and how they overlap.

Alright, so after putting all these images I realized why I had a hard time relating them at the beginning. They are done with different mediums. They were all done for different reasons (just for fun, for a hobby, because the opportunity presented itself, for school (and to communicate ideas). Which is actually really cool. I think sometimes I forget how prevalent art can be in my life.

Small Talk: the Death of Conversation

Several weeks ago I went on a hike with some geology people. One of them is a Muslim boy from Indonesia. When we were driving back I asked him what was the most surprising/confusing thing about this new culture he was currently immersed in. His answer floored me, although I agreed whole-heartedly. He said that he hated how conversations all started with "How are you?" here because that was usually where they ended too. He talked about how impossible it felt to actually get to know people because the small talk killed all chance for connections (well that was my interpretation). He said in Indonesia people often invited each other to go places together to get to know them which was more effective.
Around the same time I moved into a new apartment and found myself at several social events (including church... not always a social event but for what I am talking about here for all intents and purposes it is). I felt like every new conversation was identical to the last. "What's your name?" "Where are you from?" "What are you studying?" "How far along are you in your degree?"
Notice how none of those questions have "Why" at the beginning (I am convinced most conversations get interesting when why is asked).
I kind of just wanted to give up, I mean why bother talking to people when the conversation is so redundant I won't even remember who they are or what we talked about 10 minutes later?
At another activity I decided to try harder and I asked a girl what the most boring thing she did that day was. It was a far more interesting conversation.
I decided I really wanted to ask questions like this more often, throw out the boring questions I mentioned already, but there are two things I didn't like about that question. 1) It is a "favorite" question, and sometimes asking a "favorite" or "most" question is annoying because it puts undue pressure on speaking accurately... I have to think too long about it and that is not really necessary. 2) It focused on a negative aspect of life... I don't want to ask for complaints.
So then I spent some time trying to think up questions that I could ask that weren't boring. Here are a few I thought of:
What was the last animal you saw?
Do you like trees or mountains better?
What inanimate object makes you smile?
What made you smile today?
I asked the trees or mountains question to someone and they said "Why?" which I guess is the epitome of the problem.... non standard questions aren't really seen as quite acceptable, and thus, I often don't have the guts to ask them.... and then I dread asking the boring questions I just don't ask anything...
So is the compromise just asking the boring questions with "why" follow up questions (that works ok sometimes)? Or just to stop caring if people are totally confused when I ask them about odd things?
Of course I could always just stop talking to people I don't already know. I just can't get over how an outsider who had such a different culture background focused on how westerners kill the possibility of relationships before they even begin all with our small talk. Let's stop sabotaging ourselves!

Education and Faith: A Partnership

Two posts ago I mentioned writing this, so I thought I should actually include it for those who I didn't discuss it with.

Harvard University, founded in 1636, is arguably the first university in what is now the United States. Like many other early colleges and universities, Harvard was founded to train clergymen. This was not a new phenomenon. Throughout medieval Europe, education was predominantly handled by churches with the most well-educated members of society typically being clergymen. During the same period, the middle east flourished under what is now known as the Islamic Golden age. Inspired by words of the prophet Muhammed, and scholars like Al-Zarnuji, Muslims prized education, teaching children from the Quran and sending them to schools that were associated with mosques (Berkey, 2004). During this time Muslim scholars made enormous strides in mathematics, science, philosophy and medicine.
In contrast to this expected partnership between education and religion are the studies found today with titles such as “Why Education Corrodes Religious Faith” (Zucherman, 2014) or “Does Higher Education Experience Undermine Faith -- or Enhance it?” (White, 2012). These studies are inconclusive with individuals backed by statistics coming down on both sides of the issue. As shown by history, however, education does not inherently undermine faith, previously it was an assumed partnership. However, in the modern era college campuses are rarely associated with a specific denomination and their purpose has moved beyond educating clergymen. Instead, because of the diversity among students and faculty, students are often confronted with ideas that challenge their paradigms, and experiences that broaden their knowledge of cultures and beliefs. These types of ideas and experiences bring up questions and sometimes doubts that have the potential to shake the foundations of seedling faith that is blind, dogmatic or untried. However, in my experience, when individual’s faith is based on their personal experiences with divinity and seeking for truth wherever it can be found, then questions become stepping stones for faith. 
The broadening questions and the very topics explored in higher education experiences can increase faith, if approached with a mind open to revelation. Historically, one of the reasons early American colonists valued literacy was because they could read the Bible and religious tracts (Miletich), and thus learn about and become closer to their God. Higher education can be valued for the same reason. Learning about science and mathematics is learning about God’s creations and His laws. The study of human nature, God’s own children, using psychology, and anthropology is a way to better understand ourselves and learn to serve those around us. The creation of music, art, and literature celebrates God’s own creative power by practicing the same quality. These topics can impact religious faith for good, but the challenge of learning can also be beneficial. 
Two years ago, I started a Master’s program in geology, after studying anthropology as an undergraduate. While taking advanced classes without the extensive geology background of my peers and working with my advisor on my thesis project my own inadequacies have become woefully apparent, making it necessary to lean on the experience and knowledge of others. Learning to ask questions and accept answers, and sometimes the lack thereof, has been crucial to my learning. Working consistently day by day on classwork and my thesis has also been essential to my progress.
These values; humility, patience and diligence, that I have honed in a secular setting are the same values that nourish my faith as I rely on God and His timing, and in the meantime, do the little things to keep Him in my life. However, these and other values can be cultivated in many circumstances including participating in manual labor, missionary work, or being part of a family. No matter the circumstances, working with integrity to achieve something better helps me develop values that when applied to my spiritual life helps to increase my faith in God.
The questions I have explored and the doubts I have overcome, plus the amazing facts, theories, and anecdotes I have learned combined with the values that have become an integral part of my life because of education have brought me closer to God. Understanding that God is not only just, merciful and all-powerful but also all-knowing, is it any wonder that striving for knowledge—becoming like Him—brings me closer to Him as well?


References
Berkey, Jonathan. “Education.” Encyclopedia of Islam and the Muslim World, edited by Richard C Martin, MacMillan Reference USA, 2006.
Miletich, Patricia. “Religion and Literacy in Colonial New England” The Gilder Lehrman Institute of American History, www.gilderlehrman.org/history-by-era/religion-and-eighteenth-century-revivalism/resources/religion-and-literacy-colonial-n.
White, Mercedes. “Does Higher Education Experience Undermine Faith -- or Enhance it?” Deseret News, 11 March 2012: www.deseretnews.com/article/765558804/Does-higher-education-experience-undermine-faith-2-or-enhance-it.html.
Zucherman, Phil. “Why Education Corrodes Religious Faith.” Psychology Today. 3 November 2014, www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-secular-life/201411/why-education-corrodes-religious-faith.

Jumping to the Rescue

This week a friend bought a box of cards. She was siting next to me when she opened the box. It took her like 30 seconds and a couple of attempts to open it, and in that short amount of time  I offered to do it for her. She declined kindly. Not for the first time I realized that at times I am over eager to fix things. I explained to my friend that I didn't think she was incapable it is just that I like figuring out simple mechanisms and making them work. I like it when my roommate hands me an offending package, razor, lid, etc. Instead of being annoying I think it is kind of fascinating to see if I can figure out how it is supposed to work, why it isn't working, and if I can fix it.
Later that day I was at this same friend's house and when the drain of her bathroom needed to be drained she said it had to be done by hand because the little plug wasn't hooked up. She then promptly volunteered me for the task, adding "because Becca would think it's cool."
I drained it for her and then reconnected it... because I could.

It made me think, liking to figure things out and fix them is not a bad trait, and it is usually a good one, but realizing why I jump to the rescue and being willing to give the person time to fix their own dilemmas (unless they want help) is good too. However, realizing why I volunteer to the rescue made me wonder about all the times people have jumped to my rescue and I was annoyed... but maybe they just jumped at the chance because they liked to do whatever I was struggling with... not because they think I'm incompetent or whatever.

Articulate and Connect

In a recent talk given to the women of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints Sister Eubanks encouraged us to be articulate in standing up for what we believe in.
Recently I received an email about a scholarship essay contest. You could choose from several topics and then write an essay about it. They were thoughtful topics and I thought it would be fun to try my hand at it.
It has been a while since I have written an essay but it was fun (well, when I would finally get around to it and give myself time to get into it). I had a week to write it, and mostly worked on it in the evenings but because I didn't have a ton of time I ended up sending my quite rough draft out to my parents and brother. Normally I polish things up a lot more before I let people edit them, so it was interesting to have them see it and then communicate their own opinions and ideas on the subject, some of which I incorporated within the essay.
I realized that as I tried to articulate new ideas not only did my essay change but my ideas developed as well. One of the best parts though was hearing other peoples ideas that I may never have heard if I hadn't included them in the process.
When I first heard Sister Eubanks talk about the importance of being articulate I assumed it was because it is important to stand up for good things and to be heard, but as I worked on this project I realized maybe it is more than that. When we are articulate, or at least voice our opinions or beliefs then it challenges others to think about their own and often to voice those ideas as well. When multiple opinions are heard (not just voiced) that is when connection and communication really occurs. It is from this dialogue that we really learn and maybe even make change possible.
That is really what I like about my blog (I'd forgotten it though). I love when one of my posts triggers a response (whether digital or not) and an exchange of ideas occur.

Stereotypes and Identities

In the movie Ever After, a prince who doesn't want to be a king explains his frustrations at his role by saying "to be so defined by your position. To only be seen as what you are, you have no idea how insufferable that is!"
In response, the girl who loves him, but is a servant so she has no right to love him says "You might be surprised!" and then goes on to give an example of a gypsy who is only painted as such.

Several times I have come across people who have said things to me, acting as if they understood who I was based on a life choice or position I am in. For example I have had several people assume that I am passionate about being a career person because I am in a master's program. This is false. I just kind of fell into it... While complaining to my sister (the stay at home mom of a big family) she said that people do the same thing to her, assume who she is because of a life circumstance.
It gets annoying, and yet, it isn't surprising because many stereotypes are there for a reason; they are accurate at least in most cases.
Being defined by positions just seems like a fact of life, but maybe just remembering that I shouldn't be too annoyed when I get pegged for a stereotype that doesn't fit is a start. Plus, it is good to ask questions before assuming. (I know that will shake some people.... it's not like that hasn't been said before).

Believing Things

Today I realized that it seems like often people choose to believe or disbelieve things in a completely irrational manner.
A teenage girl told me this week that she didn't believe in the big bang because scientists just say "it happened." I didn't deny that this is what they say... but I think they say it because (in my non-expert opinion) it seems like they don't know all the answers, but the answers they do know are so complicated that a girl in junior high just wouldn't have the background to understand the answer if they did try to explain it.
I also recently heard someone say that they didn't have any idea how cell phones work, they are just grateful they do.
My nephews after countless warnings to not touch cacti (and having done so themselves in the past) insisted on doing so again only to get a hand full or spines instead.
I just looked for random facts on google, and found this one "There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball."

Sometimes we can't understand things so we believe them to be false (like the teenage girl).
But sometimes we can't understand things and we just take it for granted (like cell phones).
Sometimes things are simple and ordinary and yet we still can't quite take someone else's word for it... or even our own (like my nephews).
But sometimes things are not ordinary and we have no understanding to base even an assumption on but we believe them anyway, for no reason, except that someone else said it (golf balls).

So we don't always believe things just because they are ordinary, or extraordinary. We also don't believe things just because we have first hand knowledge or have no knowledge of the subject. So really why do we believe some things and not others?

Brain Powers

This week the work I've been doing has been exhausting mentally. It consists of solving unending small problems or at least making decisions about what to do about them. In between all the problem sleuthing and solving and decision making it is mindnumbingly dull.
Every afternoon I'd come home and ignore the last box of junk that I had not unpacked yet because I didn't know what to do with it.
I thought these things were unrelated until I realized that they take the same kind of brain power (decision/problem solving brain power). No wonder I just couldn't bring myself to unpack after working all day with that kind of stuff.
A while ago a friend told me that she only had so much executive brain and being the president of a club was just too much planning on top of everything else she was doing with her executive brain.
As an undergrad I often tried to take some sort of math or science class along with my more writing or art based classes every semester. I liked the change of pace that they provide for each other. It almost feels rejuvenating when you can use your brain in a different way.
So that then begs the question what kinds of brain powers are there? Decision/problem solving, mathematical, creative, patience, social?

Desk Space

So I am moving out of the grad cubes this week (they are kicking me out for new blood), thus I decided I would take a few pictures first.

My desk for the last two years (I had this desk before I had an apartment here)

This is my desk. Most of the papers on the right are fun personal mementos from people, the ones on the other sides are references for school stuff. My paperclip change is on the right and my textbooks and folders are on the shelf. My rocks, bones, and dinosaur figurines re in the left corner. The drawers are filled with snacks, scrap paper, old school papers, useful things (like calculators, rulers, etc.). The bottom left hand corner drawer is opened slightly (not intentional), that is the drawer I always pull out to rest my feet on.

I think it is a pretty neat desk, overall, with some personal touches. I think the grad cubes are interesting because each person has the same desk but they use (and decorate) their desks very differently.

One guy likes using his desk but if he is not using it currently everything is spotless, there is nothing on his desk, everything he has is hiding in a drawer (he even took his name tag down for a while... which caused confusion).

Then a couple of the guys use their desks as storage area, so they just get piled with junk and they never use it for anything else.

Another guy has junk all over his desk but his shelves are a well displayed rock collection.

A couple of other people have super organized desks with their school stuff and office supplies are perfectly in order but they also have family pictures enshrined on the peg board.

I like my desk clean, and I don't mind a little personalization but most of it is in the way I display my rocks not in personal items per se (except for the paperclips :) ). What is interesting, but unsurprising is that how we use our desks reflects our personality, displaying quirkiness, organization, openness, etc.

People are different. 

"Words are Hard"

This is the phrase that one of my mission companions would always say when either of us stumbled over our words.
This week I came across two different words that are commonly used but still used vaguely (at least I use them vaguely). It makes it difficult to communicate ideas when you and your audience may not understand a word in the same way.
First: Exactness
In the LDS church people often talk about obeying commandments (and rules) with exactness. I have never particularly liked the phrase I always read it with exactness being synonymous with perfectness, which is just humanly impossible (and God does not ask the impossible) Then, this week someone said that obeying with exactness meant there was no gray in life, only black and white... and nice(?) as that thought is I just don't see the world as black and white.... So I looked up exactness on google. It reads "the quality of being accurate or correct; precision." Which as you may notice says nothing about perfect.... I looked at another article about accuracy and precision. In my words accurate means being correct while precision means consistent. And I think I can obey with correctness and consistency even when I can't obey with perfection. The best thing about the above mentioned article, at least for my purposes is the image showing what accuracy and precision looks like when you are shooting at a target. Notice how even with high accuracy and precision the shots are not all dead center. So, I guess I have no problem with the phrase obey with exactness anymore... I just had to look up the word I though I knew.
Second: Mature
A group of my geology friends were talking about which of us was the most mature. One girl was nominated as the most mature (even though she is the youngest of us), but then I got wondering if we were just judging on who the most controlling person was. This one was a little trickier to find the right definition (we were obviously talking about physical maturity or the maturity of an industry). But I found this definition on the Merriam-Webster online dictionary "having of showing the mental and emotional qualities of an adult." I think that is roughly what we were all thinking of for as the definition of mature.... but it is still a vague term. I mean does that mean we should have been judging on the adeptness of planning out our lives and jobs, or the ability to control our stress in appropriate ways, or being consistently reliable in what we say we will do... I have no idea... I guess that one we would have to define for the moment.
Sometimes I am just floored that communication is possible at all with how messy and imperfect words (and nonverbal communication) are.

Physical Learning

So this week I spent some time hanging out with a few of my nephews. We ended up hiking some pretty steep side hills. One of the boys is not to much of the adventurous type so he and I hiked them together hand in hand. The whole time. The problem with this is when it got really steep he had a tendency to lean back away from the mountain, instead of in towards it, and when he was holding my hand he was pulling us both back, so I told him, "lean towards the mountain," "lean in," that sort of thing, and he did catch on pretty fast. I just thought it was fascinating because I don't ever remember learning that but I'm sure I did, but did I learn it by myself or did someone tell me, just like I told him. I have no idea? But it got me thinking about physical learning.
They say once you learn how to ride a bike, you never forget because it is all about muscle memory. However, no one really seems to talk about other muscle memory type stuff. I remember teaching myself to brace myself with my feet on the school bus so I wouldn't have to hang on. When I worked on the train a month or two back I had to get used to spreading my wait and walking with very deliberate footsteps as I walked the isles as the train jiggled from side to side, and forward of course. The same sort of thing goes for walking on ice (slipping and sliding and knowing when it's thick enough) and walking down talus slopes (those rocks do move but with a surprising amount of consistency).
So here are my conclusions about physical learning. (1) In general it seems more like you learn it through experience than instruction and (2) once you learn it, you more or less always have a feel for it no matter how long between uses. Which really is unfair because book learning seems like it flies away quite fast if you aren't using it on a daily basis. So maybe our bodies are smarter then our minds...

Shooting for A's B's or the Stars

Recently I told someone that I got an A- in a class which I thought was pretty good but then he asked what I had been shooting for. I said "an A. That's what I always aim for."
Shortly before that someone had told me that you (in the general sense) "should always shoot for a B" because then you don't get stressed about little things that don't really matter.
Then there is the saying that I will purposefully misquote* "shoot for the stars and even if you miss you will land on the moon."
So which is it? Should you aim high, super high, or just moderately good. Or does it all just depend on your personality.
I had a conversation with a friend who said that if you have the mentality that you are below average, average, or above average in a certain area, no matter what group you are in (whether a really skilled/talented group or a dull one) you will find yourself in that place within the group. So basically if you think you are average at school (easy example) instead of telling yourself to be above average you should just start hanging out with a smarter group of kids and you will end up being average in that group and doing better overall in school.
So I guess you could just shoot for average but seek out skilled groups.
Or just don't set expectations at all :)


*"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." But that really doesn't make sense...

The Meaning of Night

I'm sitting here in my apartment with the setting sun shining in on me after a storm. And it makes me happy.
Sometimes at night if the moon is ever shining in through my window I sleep backwards in bed just so I could fall asleep with the moonlight on my face.
There is something incredibly compelling about light. It is bright and obvious and beautiful. Is it any wonder that it has been used in comparison with darkness since the beginning of time as a visualization of un-articulateable ideas, especially involving good and evil?
Of course not. But as my dad says I'm a rebel and I have to root for the other side.... and darkness does get a bad rap.
As a senior in high school I wrote a poem entitled Night is a Blanket* for an assignment. I tried to emphasize the healing, peaceful powers of night and darkness.
Then I wrote a novel about a people who are nocturnal** and are thought to be evil because of it... but really they are just people.
I think the main reason why dark is seen so negatively is because humans are bad at seeing in the dark so the dark often means the unknown and unexpected.
But the thing is complete light with no darkness (shadow/contrast) is just as blinding (more so really because it can last longer) than complete darkness. (Remember don't look straight into the sun).
Just like winter--the time of dormant plants--is necessary for the health of some plants, night is our daily time of physical and often emotional rejuvenation.... So if I take the next step it begs another question. Are times of confusion and uncertainty in our lives, often compared to times of darkness,  really times of unnoticed growth. A type of staging ground for the next step?


*Night is a Blanket

Night is a blanket,
Covering the world,
Thick and dark.

Night is a blanket,
Underneath to hide
Secret longings, hidden from the day.

Night is a blanket,
Comfortable and warm,
To rest in.

Night is a blanket,
Children lie under,
Scaring each other with phantoms.

Night is a blanket,
To snuggle within
And listen to sounds all around.

Night is a blanket,
To look through,
Trying to see the world anew.

**If you ever wanted to know how much being diurnal has affected our language try writing a book about nocturnal people. Today, Morning. Three days ago. Seeing color. How do you tell what time it is when the sun isn't up?

Practical* Crafts

So recently I have finished some fun projects that I thought I would share.
Seeing as how lately I have been living in apartment for a year at the longest and have still been acquiring things (😝) I thought it would be useful to have some sort of bag or box that is small when not in use but large and sturdy enough that I could use it for packing. Instead of buying it, I wanted to make it myself. So I designed a box (made out of cardboard and grocery bags) based off my brother's reusable grocery bag. It was a fairly long process but I like how it turned out. Now I just have to see how it withstands a move. It really is just cardboard and plastic bags (no tape or glue, etc). I used binderclips, paperclips, a carpet needle, and an awl to make it. And it folds up relatively flat (with a false bottom).

 My second project was inspired by my Saturday hikes. I have low topped hiking boots and so with the advent of summer there is a ridiculous amount of prickly seed pods of various sorts that would get caught in my socks. After one week of stopping every 5 minutes to pick out the prickles I got smart and did something about it. The next week I made gaiters out of gallon ziplock bags but they were kind of hot and sweaty and noisy. So two weeks after I made these gaiters out of my old pants (good thing I hadn't thrown them out yet). They might be more effective if I wore them over my boots instead of inside them (a few prickles still slide down to my lower foot) but I wasn't sure I had anything hefty enough that could survive the beating the cloth would take on the bottom of my boot and these work great so far (I've only used them once but still). I'm also glad I made the plastic prototypes because I cut these a little different than I would have otherwise.

  So maybe these projects don't look exactly classy, but I still enjoyed designing them and I made them with stuff that I just had laying around (or my mom had laying around... well I did buy the binderclips). I might have been able to find similar things at a store, but then I would have had to go shopping! Plus, it makes me happy when I can make something that I will use.


*As in they can be used, not necessarily that they are monetarily worth the time or effort.

A New Word

I'm going to make up a word.
There are several conditions that greatly affect life in the oceans. One of these is salinity. Some animals can live in highly salty water (such as lagoons) others can only survive with a little salt (such as right off a delta where the river water waters down the salt in the water) and some can survive in both. Animals that can live in both very salty water and not very salty water are called euryhaline (meaning broad salt). Creatures that can only survive in water that has a specific percentage of salt are considered stenohaline (meaning narrow salt).
Today I was thinking about how some people are very particular about the weather that makes them happy. They don't like when it rains or when it snows or when it is too hot, etc. Then I extrapolated out and thought about how some people seem only happy occasionally, when a specific set of circumstances align, but others seem like they can find happiness in most situations.
I'm not sure why this is exactly, but some of the contributing factors may be natural disposition, faith, humor, and actually choosing to be happy. But thinking about all this made me want to be eurysatis (meaning broad satisfied) and find satisfaction and happiness in a broad range of situations and environments. Let it rain! And be blistering hot! Let me be with friends and family. Or be far away from them. Let me be working on school things, work things, other peoples projects, my projects. Let me be under green trees, on desert sands or sitting at a computer desk. Let me be eurysatis.

Curiosity: Part 2

A while ago I posted about being curious, and I talked about a spreadsheet of terms I had put together so I could do well in my studies. Now that I have been working in my new field of study for a while I don't find myself looking up quite as many terms as I did then, but I haven't given it up completely. I think I added some to my spreadsheet just last week, but as I said, it isn't quite as much the life line it was when I started. Despite this, I think I am still curious. This week I worked on a Dinosaur Train (aka I talked to little kids and their parents about dinosaurs while they went on a train ride. There was a fair amount of down time and I found myself asking the conductor and the other train workers about their jobs and how the train worked. I asked one of the teenagers that worked on the train something about one of the procedures. She had no idea (I'm not sure she had even noticed). So I guess I still count as curious. :)
Another thing I have noticed though, is sometimes I use curiosity as a coping mechanism. Occasionally when I am stressed or decidedly uncomfortable (especially in a new environment) I will start studying the mechanisms around me, trying to figure them out so I don't think too much about whatever I'm stressing out about. So, if I ever become excessively engineer minded it might be because I'm stressed out.
On another note, I find that my curiosity sometimes heads in a different direction then most peoples. On the train perhaps the two most questions about dinosaurs was "What was the biggest dinosaur?"^ and "How big was a T-rex?"* But I don't really care about "the biggest," "the fastest," "the smallest." I guess I'm just more about the stories then the stats. (You can google the stats if you need them for some reason). So, when I wasn't answering stats questions I tried to tell people things that they wouldn't be able to find out with a quick google search... well they could, but only if they knew what to ask, which--granted--would be the hard part, especially when doing it off the top of their heads. However, I am sympathetic. Good questions are sometimes hard to think of, especially when you are asked kind of out of the blue, so I guess I was even more grateful when people asked good questions.


^The Argentinosaurus, a long neck that was 130 ft long and about 90 tons (roughly the weight of two passenger train cars). And yes, it was found in Argentina.
*About 15-20 feet tall.

Textures

Last week I was laying on some pea gravel rubbing my bare-feet through it. At least twice a friend asked what I was doing with a tone that said she thought I was crazy. Then she did it and admitted it felt pretty good. I've been known to do the same thing with mud.
I hate lotion. The slimy feel of it makes me cringe, but my two year old niece brings her mom lotion and cries if she doesn't put it on.
I like al dente noodles and toast and crunchy things... in fact squishy things, or even a large quantity of non-crunchy foods with a homogeneous texture make me gag. Texture is a huge thing for me in regards to eating.
So, overall I dislike squishy things (eating or feeling...unless it's mud apparently.... I don't get it) solely because they are squishy.
My mom hates "weird fabrics," I think this means shiny smooth ones or spandex like with a stretch, because she hates the feel of them. However, she has no problem with eating squishy foods.
It is just interesting to me that it seems like many people (I won't generalize to "all") have very distinct reactions to textures, but not always in the same category. Food is the primary category that texture is an issue for for me but for my mom it is cloth. So maybe different body parts are more susceptible to being picky about texture for different people. Or maybe it is something else... I guess I will have to ask more people about this.

Deciphering Character

I just finished rereading Brandon Sanderson's novella, "The Emperor's Soul." This is a fantasy novel with a complex, original magic system. Recently, I have also read some of Sarah M Eden's books. She primarily writes clean regency romance. Today I realized that I actually like "The Emperor's Soul," and Eden's books for the same reason, or at least some of the same reasons.
"The Emperor's Soul," is about a girl who is a master forger, and in her world that doesn't just involve the typical type of forgery we have in out world but with an intricate type of magic if she knows the history of an object she can essentially rewrite it's presence. But what is cool, is that she does it for a person. In order to be successful she has to do a ton of research. She not only has to know what his favorite color is but why... even if he did not know himself. This is because:
 "a person [is] like a dense forest thicket, overgrown with a twisting mess of vines, weeds, shrubs, saplings, and flowers. No person [is] one single emotion; no person [has] only one desire. They [have] many, and usually those desires conflicted with one another like two rosebushes fighting for the same patch of ground." The whole book is about how she not only learns about the Emperor (who she is trying to forge) but also those around her as she discovers their motivations and their own deceptions and idiosyncrasies.
Eden's books are usually categorized as clean romance, which they definitely are, but unlike many romances (and just books in general) her characters are very well rounded and as the hero and heroine get to know each other they are discovering each other's motivations, and deceptions and idiosyncrasies, and why. Just like getting to know real people they are slowly piecing together each other through words and actions and sometimes they are able to come to conclusions that are true but might not even be recognized by the person. I just reread her book "Seeking Persephone" and Persephone recognized that Adam is shy, genuinely uncomfortable talking to people. Yet when you are in Adam's point of view he never once thinks of himself as shy.
I feel like I'm pretty self aware (I have made some of those types of connections about myself before) and I also find if fascinating to observe and talk about this kind of thing in other people. Plus, doing this well is one of the more rewarding parts of writing. So, I guess it is really no surprise that I like reading about it too.

Satisfaction

I find hard physical labor satisfying, and the dirt, scratches or soreness that goes with it is a reminder of that satisfaction.

I also find solving problems satisfying whether it is fixing something by tightening a screw or getting a query in a database to work properly.

I like being useful whether that means answering someone's question, holding the door open for someone with too much in their hands, reading a book to a child or making a thoughtful observation that someone finds helpful.

Creating something new out of old things, or just a new drawing, painting, etc. is also satisfying.

No matter your occupation or position in life I think everyone finds aspects of it that they like better than others. Sometimes when we feel unsatisfied with life currently I feel like there is a tendency to want to drastically change your life. Move somewhere else, quit your job, etc. However, I'm not convinced that is necessarily the answer, because as I said before there are always things that we don't enjoy..... but maybe instead of trying to drastically change our lives we can instead try to find opportunities to incorporate things that give us satisfaction.

I don't often have the need to do hard labor but the other day when a friend was moving I volunteered to help. Once when my Mom needed a handout for a lesson I volunteered to whip one up instead of just letting her get one offline (sure she could have just used a pre-made one but it was more fun for both of us that I made one).

That said I think there will always be times of discouragement and depression whether you are living a balanced life or not but I think recognizing what makes you satisfied and looking for opportunities to do them does help.

Reach Higher

I went to an uplifting lecture a couple of years ago on a college campus and the speaker told us to hold our hands over our heads. We raised them. Then for the next 60 seconds or so he kept urging us to make sure that we were reaching as high as possible. Then, he paused and with great energy said "Reach Higher." The whole room moved as we each shot our hands past our "maximum" height, just a little higher.
Over the last couple of months I have had several daily goals. One is to go to bed between 10:30 and 11:00 and the other was after I got home from school to work for a half hour on school work and another half hour on one of my own projects. So in other words after I got home between 4:30 and 5:30 I would be productive for at least an additional hour before going to bed.  Most days I would succeed, but sometimes it seemed hard to fit it in.
This week I decided I could do better and made my goal at least two and a half hours of productivity, plus going to bed a little earlier. It was a struggle and I didn't quite make it two days but the other three days I exceeded my new goal (by smidgens). I did less entertainment and more projects and I feel like I got a lot done this week.
I guess it is easy to sell ourselves short sometimes. Our hands are up, isn't that good enough? Or maybe they are even as high as we can reach at least until we try to reach harder...

On the Shoulders of Giants

Standing on the shoulders of giants is a saying that suggests that we only can achieve what we do because of the foundation already provided by generations before us. This analogy seems especially prevalent when thinking of education, perhaps, particularly science education although most fields can see it. Instead of working out the answers of problems that people faced previously we can start by learning the answers they came up with and then seek to answer the questions that come to light because of this new view.
That seems pretty straight forward but there seems to be downfalls.
First, what do we lose when we don't walk the same path that our predecessors  did? There is a knowledge, an understanding, that you can't get any other way except by solving the problem yourself. And by jumping that step I think you miss out. This may (in most cases) be a worthwhile sacrifice but it is still perhaps something to thing about and gratitude for the previous work should be acknowledged (as the statement in question implies).
Second, in some topics this philosophy seems.... less effective. Some problems appear over and over again, seeming to reappear with every generation. Just from my own observation, and comments from my Dad, these problems that must be rediscovered are moral in nature. Each generation has to rediscover, and redefine in their changing culture, what honesty is, how to balance religion and science, individual roles (economic, caste, gender), etc. Some of this can be taught by the previous generation and some individuals will get it but it seems that as a whole the generation must reestablish itself.
I'm not sure why moral issues are more difficult to be built up on. Maybe because the evidence tends to be more qualitative rather then quantitative. Maybe because often both sides (or all sides) seem reasonable especially in varying circumstances.
In some ways it seems ironic. We, as the human race, are so far ahead in some ways and yet we are continually going over the same ground in others.

Punctuality

I have a friend who is always late and usually by quite a bit (20 minutes or so).
When I'm late for some things it is super stressful for me, but other things I actually like being a little late too. Also, some things I find it easy to be on time for while others I always feel like I'm almost always accidentally late. So what is the difference?
Things like church and classes I'm taking, I find it relatively easy to be on time for (and I hate being late to). These things are consistently at the same time and I usually can gauge the exact time it will take for me to get there because all it entails to get there is to walk there from my current location (which is usually the same place).
Social engagements especially with larger groups of people I sometimes prefer to be late (5 to 10 minutes) because that way you aren't awkwardly early and it is easier to slide in unnoticed. But half the time I am more late than that. I think my lateness usually derives from being overly optimistic about the time it will take me to get somewhere. This is especially problematic when I'm in the middle of something else, because it is easy to say "oh I can just finish this one thing and still get there. It won't take me that long."
Unfortunately, it is the unusual appointments with only 1 or 2 people that I get most stressed about when I am late, but are also some of the most difficult for me to get to on time because I am likely to already be involved in other things before them and I'm also probably not used to going wherever it is so I will be overly optimistic about the time it will take me to get there... A rather unfortunate combination.

Learning about Ink

The last couple of weeks I have played around with drawing with pen and ink. It has been fun and one thing that is kind of interesting about using real tools and not digital ones is that now I am the absolute expert out of all the world on my nibs. Even other people that use pen and ink and might know just from looking at my nibs how they will perform more or less don't know how it will work as well as I do.
It is like knowing exactly how to close the door so that it won't jam.
A couple of things I learned.
Pen and ink is amazingly forgiving. If you don't put the first line exactly where you want it you can just draw another line over it. I didn't love how the hindfoot of this mulgara turned out so so I just drew the tail over it and you can't really tell.

Pen and ink is amazingly unforgiving. If the proportions are off when you start with those first couple of lines you will fail. That's why after a while I started using pencil to sketch out my pictures and then followed with ink. These fighting gemsbok are the first sketch that I started doing this with, and is probably my favorite.

Being familiar with the nib you are using is very important. While working on the gemsbok above I think I accidentally broke my favorite nib. The next image I drew in pencil and I thought it turned out quite well (especially because it is a person and I struggle with people), but then my nib had broken so I was trying out other ones and the one I choose was too thick for what I was trying to do here so it turned out kind of weird, especially the face and shading.

Overall I think I like drawing animals best. I guess that shouldn't be a surprise to me,but here is one of the plants I did, a canaigre plant.

I really haven't worked with pen and ink for a long time (all my ink was dried up so I had to keep pouring water into it the first couple of days), but it was fun to play around with it again. Especially because when I did ink drawings before I mostly did it with modern markers and used the nibs and ink for calligraphy.

A couple of other things I noticed is that I do SO much better when I have a good reference picture, even if I modify it after I draw it. I also realize that I have a hard time scaling down from my reference picture.

Snap Decisions...Which I Know Nothing About

About a year and a half ago there was a week long fieldtrip that was half way across the country and they were inviting anyone from the department. The day before they left I contacted the leaders of the group to say I would go, and then I went.

My first companion on my mission and I had a conversation about snap decisions and she said "You never make snap decisions." I was a little offended, of course I do. Isn't the above example a snap decision?

I think my companion was right. What I didn't say before is that I had known about the fieldtrip for maybe an entire month and I had really wanted to go but wasn't sure I should and only that last day did I finally decide to go for it.
In general I stew about decisions for a long time. During this stewing I avoid answering the question about what I have chosen, what I want to do, because (1) I don't know what I want to do and (2) I don't want to commit myself that I might not be able to follow through with. When I do finally decide I have a tendency to make it abruptly and then I am all in. When talking to my companion I had mistaken that final sudden decision for a snap decision... but it isn't really.
If I get bullied into giving an answer earlier than I feel obligated to follow through with my decision (even if it is just whether I'm going to some activity or something).
This is not necessarily an ideal way to make decisions but at least I understand it myself now. . .  I guess.

The Rules for Stirring Hornets: Part 2

Background: I go to Brigham Young University, a university partially subsidized by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. BYU is unalterably connected with the Church.

The last couple of weeks there has been some excitement in the geology department. An advertisement was printed in the university newspaper for an expo that included some speakers who some of the students and professors had already run across and found to be.... less than scientific and they have a religious bent. Some of the students got pretty excited about it and one wrote up a letter to send to the paper to say we as a department questioned the authenticity of this individual's science. The author asked a few of us to proofread his letter. I did so and I asked him to add something about how the advertisement, simply by its presence in the school newspaper) implies the university (and hence the LDS church) actually condones this expo. He added it and then several professors and students signed the letter and it was sent in. The school newspaper removed the advertisement and printed the letter in full. A few days later another newspaper wrote an article quoting from our letter and using some other sources.
I felt proud to be a part of it. A part of something bigger than just me. And proud to stand up for something that I believed in. I'm not sure I would have felt as strongly about it if I had been at another university. BYU in many ways represents the LDS Church (that is not always a good thing, or how it should be, but that is how it is).
The downside, as my Dad pointed out, is if we hadn't posted the letter would anyone have even noticed the advertisement. Even though we made the expo receive bad press, it still gave it press which it probably would not have received otherwise.
My initial response to most things like this is "yeah that shouldn't be happening" but I don't do anything about it. Arguing in public venues usually doesn't seem effective. And yet, sometimes I think it does need to be done. A couple of years ago I posted about how sometimes stirring hornets is worth it. The question is how do you know when to do it? and how do you make sure it will be more helpful than harmful?
I was flattered when two of my peers, who had been less involved in the conversation and the letter writing, both said they were willing to sign it when they learned that I had proofread it first. They trusted me to be civil, and reasonable. I hope I was. They already knew the author would be straightforward and clear. He was.
I don't know if those are the only things important when you decide to stir up hornets but I think it is at least a start.

Emotion vs Power

"It's like in the great stories Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered."
                    -Samwise Gamgee from The Lord of the Rings by J R R Tolkien

I watched the Fellowship of the Ring this week and because of it I had a couple of conversations about the Lord of the Rings and just thought about it. Some people say the series is boring, and you know it is a lot slower than what today's media prepares us for. One thought I had was because the point of view is omniscient and kind of sees the whole story instead of being in someone's head the whole time there is less emotion that is blatantly shown. Don't get me wrong, there is still great emotion but that almost isn't the point. The point is the overall story in other words the themes almost seem more prominent. Other older books have some of the same characteristics, such as "Tale of Two Cities."
Brandon Sanderson is arguably the best, modern fantasy writer. The point of view he uses is always in his characters' heads, very close to the action and the emotions of the characters. This makes for a much faster pace and is honestly what today's readers want. Other modern authors, such as Orson Scott Card or J K Rowling, have this fast paced, emotional writing style. And they still have some amazingly honorable, brave, and courageous characters, and themes of triumph over evil just like Tolkien.
But sometimes I feel like because we are so close to the action and emotion in much of today's entertainment it is easy to feel the emotional power while missing some of the overall themes even when authors put them in.
It almost seems like sometimes meaningful or powerful ideas can be missed or stripped of their significance when there is too much emotion. Because emotion is so distracting in some ways. And yet.... if you don't care about the characters at all the meaning doesn't come through.
Maybe it isn't about the point of view, maybe it is more about the motive of the author. Are they trying to entertain or are they trying to moralize (don't take that in a negative way). Perhaps, there is some other reason completely.
I also think that emotion definitely has a place and brings another type of power to books. In a previous post I wrote about the emotion I felt when reading The Killer Angels by Shaara. Without being in some of those characters heads I wouldn't grasped the significance or the devastation of the battle of Gettysburg.
Ultimately, the question I have as an aspiring author is can I write a fast-paced, character-based book that is still meaningful? And what should my motive be?

The Rest of the Story*

While sitting around a fire on a recent adventure, an acquaintance told a "scary story." His four year old daughter was sitting on his lap so I wasn't expecting anything too disturbing. He set his scary scene with a couple of sentences and then said their was on the road a murdered. Wait for it. Potato bug. And then he just stopped. We all laughed for a minute and then I asked who murdered the bug. He seemed a little confused but threw out "ants" as the culprit. And then I realized that no one else cared.
I don't know why I care so much, but I often seem to find myself listening to talks or lectures or just friends and getting annoyed when they just seem to stop in the middle of a story.
There is so much about life that isn't a complete story. I mean when does a person's story end. With their death? with the end of their influence? Most stories are only snippets of bigger stories and I'm ok with those snippets as long as they have a beginning, middle and end.
I'm not a great story teller but I am definitely a consumer of stories and like to think that I am a writer of stories. All the questions don't need to be answered but the main threads need to be tied up.... so why do people seem to end at the middle?


*Yes this is a reference to Paul Harvey.

Consuming and Creating: Part 9: Discovery

Just a couple of posts ago I mentioned how I think that doscovery is an important part of enjoyment. This weekend I went to a National Park and played around in nature. It made me happy. I climbed up a giant sanddune and just smiled as I walked through the sand at the top (avoiding the scorpion tracks). I also really enjoyed wandering around right before sunset clambering over slick rock and admiring the Indian Paintbrush. I'm sure others have seen those things before but just finding these places myself was fun. My friend that I was with told some other friends that I was "euphoric" after these little escapades. I guess other people don't seem to get so excited about these kind of things... I guess I get it from my mom.
Although I have to admit that sometimes I don't feel like I appreciate some things as much as I should. We went on a sunrise hike. It was cool but it didn't seem that exciting...
Discovery and creation seem to be really connected in that way, as in they both give me the same triumphant feel. Without using the word "discovery" I wrote last month about how it can be a part of creation. In another post a couple of years ago, I wrote about being excited about the little things and how doing so makes you a good candidate for immortality. Perhaps they are more interrelated than I thought.

The Spread of Pet Peeves

I had a roommate a couple of years ago who hated when time was left on the microwave or cupboard doors were left open. Before that point I never even noticed, but to keep her happy I would try to fix these things.
Now I have a roommate who always leaves time on the microwave and it has started driving me crazy... ok that is an esageration but I would prefer if she didn't but I know it is not a real problem.
And I wonder if I would have noticed if it hadn't been for that first roommate.
So that is the danger of having pet peeves. They can spread!

Call Me Shrike

In senior english we had to write a "college essay." My college didn't require an essay but this is the one I wrote for the class, with comments made today in a set of foortnotes.


Call me Shrike (1). When I was about fourteen, I wanted an alias that could be used for computer games and my brother's online forum (2), but not just any name, it had to fit me.
My mom taught my siblings and me to love the outdoors, and because of this I wanted to choose a name from nature. I also wanted it to be unusual, and thirdly, it just needed to sound right. I began by looking through my mom's bird and plant books. In the index of her bird book, I came across “shrike.” Check. Check. Check. The first three requirements were now met, but did the bird fit my personality?
A shrike, or butcher bird, is fairly small. Although not the smallest in my family, I am the youngest.
It is called the butcher bird because of its strange practice of catching small animals such as lizards and impaling them on thorns. There it stores its prey for future use. When I first read about this bird I was slightly disturbed by its seemingly disgusting way of storing food. Soon, however, I got over this reserve and found this unusual behavior a fascinating way to make up for their lack of talons, or maybe I am just a little morbid (3). In addition, this method of storing food does suggest their emphasis on preparedness, which is important to me (4). This also seemed fitting because, although I come from a laid back family, I am the feistiest.
Butcher birds have nondescript plumage, it is mostly black, gray, and white. I feel that my appearance is nondescript, just like a shrike (5). When people look past my 'feathers' and get to know me they might find me just as surprising, but hopefully not as disgusting as the shrike (6).
The butcher bird's harsh cry appealed to me as well. At the time I chose my alias I rarely spoke in school, and although I don't consider myself particularly gregarious, I have become less reserved (7). The shrike's call also suited me because I am definitely no song bird!
Finally, like the shrike which lives throughout most of the United States, I have traveled much of the country.
Now I often go by "Shrike" in games. Although I chose the name four years ago, it still fits me well. My love of nature, my preparedness, and my slightly passive-aggressive nature have not changed since then. Shrike was, and is, the perfect name for me (8).

(1) This is a reference to the first line of Moby Dick, which I rebelliously liked, because no one else did. "Call me Ishmael."

(2) I still use this as my default alias for online things. I also continue to feel connected to shrikes. 

(3) When my siblings proofread this paper they objected to this word choice. They thought it implied that I was a cutter or just goth. That is not what I meant but I didn't know how else to say it. My friend introduced me last week by saying, "she likes dead things." It's true. I like bones (as you would know if you're read this blog). Perhaps I am a bit morbid.

(4) Sometimes I get weirdly defensive when I don't have something someone needs, even if there is no reason I should have it.

(5) Not only do I feel nondescript but I prefer to dress nondescript. Unlike my sister who wears red because it is her "happy color," I avoid wearing red and some other warm bright colors most of the time because it makes me feel too obvious.

(6) I've decided I might be a bit quirky and most of the time I like that... but I also have a pretty good filter so my odder traits/actions I squelch most of the time. Sometimes I wonder if that is a good thing or not, maybe it is better to be blatantly odd from the beginning... but it is easier to get offended that way.

(7) This continues to be true, I have become less reserved in some situations (but not all). But I have also realized I tend to be pretty blunt, I don't sugarcoat things much, and that might not make my "call" appealing to some.

(8) Well it's been more than 10 years since I choose "shrike" as an alias, and wrote about it... and yet it still seems to fit. Maybe I was a wiser 14 year old than I thought. Or maybe I just want it to fit so I make it. :)