Clothes

Someone once told me while trying to convince 10 year old me to wear a fancy dress that "Every girl wants to be a princess." I did not, spitefully retort "Then I can be a princess in jeans."

I find clothes disturbing, but I suspect it is only because I think too much.
Sometimes when I walk through stores it makes me dizzy, there is just too much to look at and see, I find it overwhelming, and clothes shopping is even worse.
I took a class in college called the History of Clothing. A more complete name would have been Western Civilization and Culture as it Impacted and was Impacted by Clothing. It was fascinating. One of the things we talked about was how many of the cliques and trends in the last several decades are almost purely defined by their clothes. But the question to me is do you like certain clothes and are thus drawn to other people who like similar clothes and also happen to have other personality traits in common. Or do you have those personality traits and so you gravitate to people with those same traits and respect those people and as an effort to fit in or just in respect you end up wearing the same clothes. Perhaps that is irrelevant because it's a chicken and an egg type situation.
The other thing that seems crazy about clothes, is that no matter what other people say I am comfortable in what I'm comfortable in. Even if I hate it, but everyone else tells me it looks great, I just feel stupid, and vice versa.

So back to why I find clothes disturbing and feel almost dizzy when I'm shopping... When clothes shopping I often have an identity crisis. Am I that person who wears cargo pants and T-shirts? Am I that person who wears fitted jeans, and wool coats? Am I that person who wears skirts and casual blouses? Am I that person who wears blazers and button down the front shirts? So where am I supposed to look for clothes? The thing is, all of those people seem to be completely different to me, (yes, yes I know they are all me - I think I compartmentalize too much). This isn't just a problem I have when I'm in a store either, it happens when I look in my own closet. What's weird is I can wear nice jeans and a shirt one day and it makes me feel pretty the whole day, and I wear the exact same outfit the next week and it makes me self conscious. Like I said clothes are confusing.

Growing up with Books

In my elementary school if  we read 100 books or a specific number of pages (depending on the grade level) during the year we got a reading award for it, which included a medal and a book. These are the books I earned for each year. Some I don't read very much anymore. But they are good books, and I still have them.
This week I reread The View from Saturday by E. L. Konisburg. It was at least the third time I read it, once when I got it in fifth grade, once the summer after I graduated High School, and then now. Among other things this is what I wrote about it when I read it after High School "I still don't really understand it....."
Which I found funny because this time when I had finished I thought, "Oh, I get it." I would have never picked this book on my own, but because it was a gift it came into my life, and I'm glad of it.
There is something special about books that you grow up with. That you have read throughout your life, and they are still good. Maybe that is why my brother and sister have said that there are several series every kid should grow up with. I've grown up with this one.
The list we have at present of such important series are:
Laura Ingall's Wilder
Narnia (I got a copy of the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe in 4th grade).
Harry Potter
Lord of the Rings

Writing

Recently I have been writing a lot, at least it feels like quite a bit to me. Every day I aim for a 1000 written words, or 2000 typed words, or more often a combination of the two, on a single novel-to-be. It has been an interesting experience. It is exciting, painful, exhausting, overwhelming bizarre.
Exciting: It is cool to be able to feel a wad of papers in my hand, and think, I wrote all this (and yes I do most of my writing with pen and paper, and then type it in). And when I reread parts of it when I was editing it actually took a while. This isn't just a short piece.
Painful: It is a lot of work to convince myself to do everyday. And sometimes I am just at a complete loss of what else to say, or how to say it.
Exhausting: Sometimes I'm just tired, I literally feel drained (pun intended), that happens especially towards the end of the week.
Overwhelming: How do you create a world, a culture, and interesting people all by yourself? You don't. I've talked to my brother a lot, and in all actuality the story was originally his.
Bizarre: It is strange to be thinking about what happens next, or reliving scenes, while I walk around, or do my laundry, etc. just like I do with books that I'm reading.

So don't judge my writing on just this, please. Hopefully, I will spend more time editing my book then I do on my blog posts, which are not always literary masterpieces. (Aren't you glad. Literary Masterpieces can be awfully dense at times).