Positivity

Recently I have been filling out applications and I get tired of all the questions couched in politically correct terms but really saying "please complain about how hard your life is." I wouldn't mind so much if they were asking about how I have overcome hard things but I don't think they are.
One question said something along the lines of "if you are from a group that is usually a minority within higher education please describe how your point of view will broaden the diversity of our school." I asked my friends for a few suggestions and I just rebelled at the thought of writing them (poor me I'm a woman in science). So instead I wrote this:
Historically women are underrepresented in higher education; however, this has not been a negative experience for me. Being part of an accepted minority has allowed me to see how diversity, when respected, can foster additional insights, creativity, and increased openness.
I think I had like 600 more characters I could have used but my writing tends to be brief.
It makes me wonder why people seem to like sob stories so much. Isn't it far too easy already to think and talk negatively, why not focus on our triumphs and overcoming? Why not focus on the bright and beautiful things in the world (or dark and beautiful--you know how I feel about nighttime) just because we can? Why focus on the differences when we can rejoice in common ground?
Perhaps some might say you only say that because your life is easy. You haven't been a shunned outsider/minority. And my answer to that is: you're right, my life is good, so again why should I complain about it. Maybe your life is good too and if you focused on the positive it might be better still.

Weirdness Defense

At get to know you activities (which I seem to constantly be a part of) one of the typical things is to go around in a person and say your name and one thing that is "interesting about you." Then I try to desperately think of something that is random but not actually that helpful in getting to know me... As in I don't like to say things that are typically seen as cool. For example on a few different occasions I've said "my hair is brown", "I like paperclips", or "I like to dig in the dirt". Random but not actually helpful.
The other day someone suggested I apply to Yale. I said "Why in the world would I want to go there?"
My friend said "because then people would think you're awesome."
"Exactly why would I want to go there?"
And she said, "because you are awesome."
I do think I'm interesting and kind of cool but I hate it when people assume I am for the wrong reasons. Maybe that is why I don't like it when people find out I'm a Master's student and they start gushing about how smart I am.... or I'm studying paleontology (dinosaurs) so suddenly I'm cooler than the person studying finance... ok so I don't mind that when it's my nephews that think I'm cool but yeah.
So basically I realized that I would rather tell acquaintances things that make me seem weird rather then cool.... perhaps it is a form of self defense. Tell them something weird so they run away instead of letting them get to know me and then having them run away.
Sometimes I think I am pretty confident and then I figure things like that out about myself and I think, maybe I'm not as confident as I thought.

Sickness and Other Thoughts

The past couple of days I haven't really felt awesome. You know, it is cool to get colds this time of year. It has made me realize how juvenile I can be at times. Yesterday I went for a short walk in the rain because I wanted to but today I didn't talk to someone I was sitting next to at church because "I'm too tired." I guess I just realized that when I am feeling a little off I have a ready made excuse for anything I don't want to do, even if I'm fully capable. Not only do I have an excuse, but I use it.
It reminds me of a time in the MTC (explained a couple of posts ago) when I was recovering from a cold and I kept coughing, especially whenever someone asked me a hard question. It very nearly became a habit. Cough if I don't know the answer.... luckily someone called me out on it and I stopped but really sometimes I'm kind of a wimp. What is weird is I don't think I generally make that kind of lame excuse... I just do it when I'm a little sick.

In other news, this is the first post of a new year, and the end of the old. I thought about writing something about goals or a year in review or some such thing but I couldn't put my finger on anything concrete, so you get this instead. However, when I was thinking about that sort of thing I reread a few of my posts from this year (sometimes I'm pretty smart but I really should proofread, and I've learned some cool things) and I was surprised at how much the post from last year from around this same time is actually fairly similar to how I'm feeling at the moment. Maybe not much has really changed.