Of Pencils and Responsibility

I lost my pencil this morning.
But it will hopefully still turn up.
In school I remember quite often letting people borrow a pencil or pen, but I almost never let them actually use the pen or pencil that I always used. I kept backup ones, and those are the ones I lent out.
I have had the pencil I lost this morning since my junior year of college (I think). I lost my previous pencil down a crevice between a bolted in couch and a wall outside my History of Clothing class. I was very sad when I lost that pencil because it was one I had used every day on my mission.
The point, I suppose, is that some people see things like pencils or folders as completely dispensable. I am a little bit more possessive about such things.
Speaking of folders, I got really upset in my sophmore year of high school when an acquaintance stabbed my English folder with his pencil and left a hole in it. But don't worry I was still using it my senior year of college.
Both the pencils in question happen to be mechanical, and the folder was plastic, so they are pretty good quality. I still think my protection of them has more to do with using them up until they aren't useful anymore than actual any sentimental value. Plus, I personally see it as responsible not to be losing your pencil all the time.
So is that enough about pencils?

My high school and college folders. Typically green was science, blue english (yes the one mentioned), and purple was miscellaneous.

I didn't do a picture of my pencil... because it's lost.

Summaries

I think it was in one of the Alcatraz books by Brandon Sanderson. There is a comment about how any story sounds lame when it is summed up in a sentence or two. Try it, it's true. Before I read Lord of the Rings I was told it was a story about a short man who travels for three books to a volcano to destroy an evil ring, and then fails so someone bites his finger off. The end. Stupid right?
In high school we had summer reading we had to do, and there was the same 10 or so questions we had to answer for every book. The first section was to write a summary of the plot no more than 50 words. I would religiously count the words to make sure I was under, it was difficult. When I read the Hobbit I mentioned the ring but it was too long, and my brother advised me to take that part out because the ring really isn't that important in the Hobbit (just in it's sequels). So I did, and my teacher wrote on it and passed it back with the question: "What about the ring?" I was annoyed.
This week I have been working on writing a one page summary of my almost 200 page book. In some ways I think the 50 word summary would be easier. . . It has actually been kind of fascinating though. Out of over 60 named characters I have named only 7 characters in the summary. I have looked at several chapters and decided that nothing in the whole chapter needs to even be mentioned in the summary. Some of the more interesting scenes (in my opinion) are ignored.
So it seems to me that if you take a story down to:

• a page => you lose the emotion
• 50 words => you lose the flow
• a sentence => you lose everything. It just sounds dumb.

And that is not to say there are no reason for summaries... they just should be used with care.

A Binary Continuum ('cause that makes sense)

So as you may have noticed after reading some of my other posts (here, and here) I find dichotomies/opposites fascinating or at least compelling. But this week I thought of them a little differently.
Here is what I was thinking. I am a very liberal person. . . until I'm conservative. I am self-confident... until I'm not. I'm reserved... until I'm loud. I'm an introvert... until I act extroverted.
Instead of a continuum it seems more like binary. It is either 0 or 1. Nothing in between.
But perhaps instead of thinking it has to be a continuum OR binary maybe it can be both. Perhaps we are all composites. Instead of either being an introvert or an extrovert, a liberal or a conservative we are generally at point A on a continuum between those two points. We are there at point A for situations one through four, but for situations five through six we are at point B on that same continuum. Even if point A and point B are not even all that close.

And I think that is ok, good even. Different situations require different reactions. After all "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds."    -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Just so you know. I'm not a quote person... until I am.

Childhood Pictures

I was looking at some old pictures. Mostly kindergarten through third grade.
Here are some thoughts on them.

• As as adult I looked at some of the kids in my class a little differently. I befriended some kids that at the time I saw as not as smart as I was. One was the only hispanic kid in the class, permanently set apart culturally. And I don't think his home life was very good. Another picture was taken at a recital thing. the whole grade had learned the recorder and then were supposed to perform for their parents. Everyone was wearing white shirts except one kid on the front row. If I remember correctly I helped him out a lot in fourth grade with stuff. That non-white shirt though, told me today that his home life probably wasn't very good either. Not enough parental involvement.
• Looking at the kids in my classes, some that were only in elementary with me and others who I remember all the way through senior year kind of makes me want to know what happened to them. (But probably not enough to do anything about it).
• I was still me. There are pictures of me playing in the dirt and reading and standing next to my art pieces hanging on the wall. 

Vector Graphics

There are "how to draw" books that are filled with cool characters broken down into simple shapes, ovals and circles, triangles, rhombuses (rombi?). I never liked them.
A while ago I spent some time working on how to do figure drawings. This is what I found. The pure shape based ones aren't as bad as the anatomy ones but not as good as the shape/light combos. And honestly I think my "shape" experiment was more about contours.
This week I have worked with inkscape to make some vector art. I don't enjoy doing vector art as much as I enjoy other mediums. Although I do like the clean simplicity of vector art done well.
But it made me wonder if people who really do well with those "how to draw" books would do well with the vector art.
Vector art is about manipulating shapes, not about drawing lines. To me it is about seeing the shapes that make up the thing you want to make. A bunny is not lines and colors but ovals and circles and squares. Just like those "how to draw" books. Then you combine those shapes and adjust the surrounding lines.
I apologize this is probably a terrible explanation of vector graphics if you have never done it before...
But I guess my point is it seems like people see art differently (surprising right?) some people see things in terms of shapes, others colors, or light, still others contours. And depending on the artist different mediums work better than others because of the way they think.
Me I think I am a contour person mixed with light/color (depending on the medium) and then shape.

Anyway here is my unsatisfied attempt at vector art.

Offensive

This post is inspired by several conversations I have had recently. Although to be honest, most of my posts are.
People talk a lot. In a lot of situations, in a lot of languages, for a lot of reasons. In my own sphere of conversation I have found that often people, strangers and best friends, say things that taken literally, or out of context could be extremely offensive. And I don't even mean the times when people purposefully say something offensive. Honestly, after such a unintentionally offensive conversation I take perverse pleasure in commenting how "offensive" that just was or recounting said conversation to others just so I can mention how hilariously offended I could have been.
Sidenote: My views on offensive sayings (not that I am perfect at living these ideas but this is how I see it).
1 The person didn't mean to be offensive. Therefore being offended is stupid because you are letting yourself be hurt by someone who meant no malice.
2 The person did mean to be offensive. Therefore being offended is stupid because you are letting them win.
In general I try not to say offensive things, although I admit I do on occasion enjoy saying something terribly offensive, that is particularly culturally insensitive to someone who knows me well enough to know that I studied anthropology and am all too aware of how important cultural sensitivity is. But I am not purposefully trying to offend/hurt/shame anyone.
I do not follow the news regularly. However it was brought to my attention that several newspaper personnel were recently killed because they were being purposefully offensive (because that is what newspapers seem to like to do). There have been arguments made that are legitimate that say people should not be killed for being offensive. I agree. But why do people have to be offensive in the first place. Sure, I believe in free speech but, as I was said above, don't people say enough offensive things completely on accident. Why do we need to be offensive on purpose.
Too political. I apologize. I will now go back to ignoring the news. I'm so educated....

Expectations

I find expectations to be difficult at times. (And for some reason I feel like I have already written about this on here before... but I couldn't find the post so whatever).
When you're expectations are high for a book and it doesn't measure up then it is depressing, but if they are low and it exceeds your expectation it makes it seem like the book is actually good.
In regular life I always find situations more difficult to handle when they are unlike my expectations. My 5 year old nephew thought he was going on an airplane that day and instead he was staying 3 more days. He was grumpy all evening. Not because he didn't like us or where he was at but jut because he was expecting life to be different from what it was.
But it's not like you can go through life with no expectations, they just naturally form. So how do you cope when your good expectations are crushed? I have no idea except pray that your attitude will change. Grrr.