Expectations

On a dig I went on in Nauvoo a couple of years ago I got known as a good digger. For a while it got so that if anyone saw me mapping or screening (other vital roles and which I feel I am equally capable of) they would say "why aren't you digging? That's where we need you," (which may or may not have been true). I like digging, not arguing there but sometimes I got jealous of my friend who had got pegged as the researcher, secretary. She got to be in on meetings where she learned more about the history of Nauvoo. She on the other hand would sometimes complain to me that she wished she could just dig. Both were good roles it just would have been nice to share them a little more.*

This week the professor I TA for had to miss class. In the past he has asked another professor to sub for him but this time he asked me. He sent me his slideshow and his handouts which I read through and then did some wikipedia research and literally taught in the afternoon what I had learned in the morning. It was interesting, and I'm sure his lecture would have been more thorough, but overall I think it went pretty good.

On several occasions I have seen children, usually like 2 to 5 year olds, hang on (literally) and talk to socially awkward adults. The adults who would normally be hesitant to respond acted pretty comfortable. It seemed like the children missed the social cues that would suggest that those adults don't like to talk or be hugged so they treat them like other adults in their lives and the adults act accordingly.

So to explain the connections between these experiences.
In the Nauvoo experience both my friend and I were tied down by the expectations people made of our abilities.
In the TA experience my professor expected more of me then I thought possible, so I grew and learned a lot.
In the children example, the children don't have expectations that someone will be awkward so they treat them like anyone else.
I have heard people talking about low expectations limiting people. You expect your class not to show up on time so they don't. You expect someone to not want to talk to you so they don't.... but I had never thought about how low expectations can literally take away growth opportunities. No one expected me to do anything but dig so I never got the opportunity to do anything else. Thus, the reverse is true too. If you have high expectations of someone, maybe higher then they have for themselves you will give them opportunities to do more (like my professor).
So then the obvious question is how often do we limit ourselves (or those around us) by our low expectations?


*These roles were a little more overlapped and shared the other years I worked in Nauvoo.