If someone you knew, and cared about, walked up and seriously said one of the three things below, which would be most offensive?
a) I hate your shoes, they are such an ugly shade of mahogany.
b) Your personality rubs me the wrong way, and really I just can't stand you.
c) I don't agree with your beliefs. They just don't make sense.
Think about it. Obviously these are somewhat generic insults but I tried to make them fundamentally different.
Prejudice exists. And here I am talking mostly about the US, because after all that is where I have had experience (and in other places and times I think the ideas I'm expressing are somewhat irrelevant because of the magnitude of the prejudices involved). Some people treat other races with great injustice and contempt. Others don't believe that women, or men, are capable or qualified. Anyway. There are lot's of forms of prejudice, I guess I don't need to list them all. But now back to the original question. Did you decide which is most offensive? Personally I would say answer b. The one that takes in you, you and only you. Just like the boy, Hiccup, from How to Train Your Dragon, who several times is told "You should change that." And he answers "What? You just gestured to all of me."
Which is not to say slights about personal beliefs or your favorite sport, hobby, or clothing are not taken personally at times. But the thing is I think it is easier to think that people pick on me because I'm a girl (I can't help that) or LDS (me and quite a few other people) then to know that they just don't like me as a person. Because if you accept that they really don't like you for you, then you are left with three options 1) punch them in the face 2) ignore the taunt or 3) realize that it might have some validity and take ownership of the imperfections it pointed out to you. Basically, I think it is far easier to blame other people's unpleasant behavior towards you on some prejudice that they hold, instead of realizing that you aren't perfect. For instance, "they didn't hire me because I'm a girl," instead of "they didn't hire me because I'm a slacker."
But then again I'm a privileged white girl what do I know.
B for me too.
ReplyDeleteAnd I know that this is hypothetical but... you are not a slacker :)