Homesick

It's Fall.

I have lived in three states in my life, Massachusetts, Indiana, and Utah. 18 years, 18 months, and 4 years. Indiana, (the 18 month stint) I don't really miss the actual state, although I certainly miss the people and the experiences. I still live in Utah so I can't miss that. But, I was thinking about Massachusetts the other day. Fall always reminds me of New England and makes me wistful for it, the stunning leaves, the crisp air, and the anticipation of the season. Utah and Indiana just do not compare, especially with the leaves. Some friends and I drove around looking at leaves the other day, but it just is not the same. The leaves here are just not as vivid, numerous or varied. It's kind of disappointing and looking at the leaves here ends up with me feeling quietly sad. Not the harsh poignant pain of recent injury but the rounded longing of the past. Strangely, (or maybe not) Fall is generally the only time I think much about being homesick for New England. At other times, when I think of Massachusetts it is more like the way that I miss Indiana. Meaning I miss the past, with its people, experiences, and foreignness.