Decorating

It is the time of year for moving, at least for those in the college world. I helped some of my old roommates decorate their apartment. They painted one wall.

I think it ended up looking pretty good, but I'm still not sure I would love living there. I think I might be constantly looking at it and noticing the imperfections. I can understand it more then the other wall though.
The other wall was filled with pictures and a mirror. Way to many in my opinion but it was kind of interesting because from a design point of view I had a feel for whether pieces should be higher or lower on the wall or if the colors matched, etc. Basically, I realized I could do it. I could decorate with too many pictures and trendy sayings, and do it well. I just would rather not and probably never will. I'm not saying it's bad, it just isn't me.
It reminded me of Taran Wanderer by Lloyd Alexander where Taran tries various crafts and is actually pretty talented at all of them but isn't interested in any of them until he tries pottery and loves it but isn't actually very good at it. (At least I think that's how it goes. It's been more then 10 years since I read it). I wonder how frequently that happens that people have talents for things they don't actually care about pursuing.

Deadlines and Writing Ramblings

One more week. That is all the time I have left before school starts again. This is rather a depressing thought, but there is at least one thing that I find useful about change such this, I am doubly motivated to accomplish things.

I crammed the last month and a half or so before I left on my 18 month mission full of finishing projects including a cross stitch project I had started when I was 6 or 7.

At the beginning of August I realized that my summer was drawing to a close and I set myself a plan to write more diligently in the hopes of more or less finishing the first draft of my second book. I'm not sure that will happen because my book keeps getting longer... but nevertheless I have been doing quite a bit of writing. It is a Robin Hood retelling. I have always loved Robin Hood and retellings but not historical fiction. When historical fiction is done well, meaning well researched and accurate as well as all those other pesky things like a good plot and character development it can be great, but the problem is that it often is not particularly accurate. I thought anyone who choose to write a Historical fiction was crazy.... and yet here I am writing one. It puts me in mind of a certain symmetrical black ceramic plate I saw in a museum on a fieldtrip I took with my ceramics class. We were supposed to pick an item and then recreate it. I blatantly told my professor the person who choose it must be crazy. And then I picked it myself.

I have set my Robin Hood story in the 1270s which is later then many of the Robin Hood stories (meaning King Richard and Prince John are not characters). I have done some research but there are still many questions I have, and still more questions I am sure I have not even thought to ask. Some of these questions I have put off but I will definitely have to research them eventually.

Another thing that has been interesting about writing this is that one of my main point of view characters is very different from me. Both of my point of view characters in Legend Speaker react to situations similar to how I would react. They are almost like different flavors of my own reactions rather then completely different but Hob is different and as a result I might have to go rewrite many of the earlier scenes because I hadn't gotten a very good feel for that difference yet.

Anyway, enough ramblings. Here is to natural deadlines.

Archaeology and Paleontology

When I was studying archaeology people would often ask whether I was digging up dinosaurs. Now that I am studying paleontology people ask me if I do archaeology.
I like Latin roots so here is their literal meanings based on the Latin roots based on this page on wikipdia.
"archae" means ancient
"pale" means ancient or old
"ont" means being

On my recent paleontology dig I found it interesting to compare archaeology and paleontology.
The similarities:

• the artifacts/bones are mapped on a grid system
• Artifacts/bones are closely labeled 
• a clean hole is a happy hole (as in get the dirt and the rock bits out of the hole so you can see what you are doing)
• it takes a little bit to get your search criteria right but once you have it isn't too bad
• people always stand around and take pictures of you because you are on the "inside of the zoo"

The differences (well a few of them):

• In archaeology you dig square holes, in paleontology you dig around what you want to take out
• In paleontology you take home some of the rock still stuck to the bones, in archaeology you get rid of all the dirt
• In paleontology there is a more overall interest in the geologic history of the area

Also, sometimes when I worked in Archaeology I would get annoyed that people would just stand around and watch instead of helping out, just get in and dig. On this trip I stood around a lot because (1) I didn't know what needed to be done and (2)even when I did know what needed to be done I didn't really feel qualified to do it. So overall, I felt a little more sympathetic to those I had been annoyed at before.

Being Capable Or Allowing Others to Be Capable

When I was a teenager my Mom asked me and my older brother's friend to fix some shelves in the basement. Or maybe she just asked him. Either way I kind of hijacked the work and kept trying to do everything. I wanted to use the drill and the saw etc. Afterwards I felt really dumb. I ruined his chance to be helpful and acted like a brat. After that I have been more cautious about "showing off" with manual labor especially when there are males involved. I have heard that it is important to the male ego to be able to be strong and helpful and capable.
This week I went on a dinosaur dig with some people, many of them guys. At one point we had to change a tire and several other times there was things to be carried or lifted. Some of it I physically could not do or it would have been very awkward but some of it I knew how to do, and would have enjoyed doing but I stood back and let them do it. And hence was bored and felt kind of useless.
I am assuming the guys weren't saying I couldn't do it they just wanted to take the brunt of it, which is nice. I guess I just haven't figured out a good compromise.

The Future Consequences of Coby Smi

When I was a preteen or early teenager I got to go to Build-A-Bear for my birthday. This is Coby Smi, the adventuresome koala that I built there. His backpack includes a sleeping-bag big enough for him.
It has been over ten years since I customized this bear but he still lives in a closet at my parent's home. A week ago my eleven year old nephew found Colby and was asking about him. I told him a little about Build-A-Bear and how you can choose which animal and then choose an outfit and accessories from the many options there. Dresses, pajamas, suits, superheros, dancers, magicians, cheerleaders, etc. There was a lot of options. I was surprised when my nephew ended the conversation by saying, "I just think it's cool that you dressed him like an adventurer because some girls would have just wanted a girly one with dresses and stuff." Then he walked back inside.
So basically, a fairly inconsequential decision I made more than ten years ago about a stuffed animal raised me in the esteem of my nephew now.
It brought home to me how our decisions affect us and how others see us. I was certainly gratified that he liked my taste in toys but more importantly what decisions have I made or will I make that may affect me as a role model in the future?

Expectations

On a dig I went on in Nauvoo a couple of years ago I got known as a good digger. For a while it got so that if anyone saw me mapping or screening (other vital roles and which I feel I am equally capable of) they would say "why aren't you digging? That's where we need you," (which may or may not have been true). I like digging, not arguing there but sometimes I got jealous of my friend who had got pegged as the researcher, secretary. She got to be in on meetings where she learned more about the history of Nauvoo. She on the other hand would sometimes complain to me that she wished she could just dig. Both were good roles it just would have been nice to share them a little more.*

This week the professor I TA for had to miss class. In the past he has asked another professor to sub for him but this time he asked me. He sent me his slideshow and his handouts which I read through and then did some wikipedia research and literally taught in the afternoon what I had learned in the morning. It was interesting, and I'm sure his lecture would have been more thorough, but overall I think it went pretty good.

On several occasions I have seen children, usually like 2 to 5 year olds, hang on (literally) and talk to socially awkward adults. The adults who would normally be hesitant to respond acted pretty comfortable. It seemed like the children missed the social cues that would suggest that those adults don't like to talk or be hugged so they treat them like other adults in their lives and the adults act accordingly.

So to explain the connections between these experiences.
In the Nauvoo experience both my friend and I were tied down by the expectations people made of our abilities.
In the TA experience my professor expected more of me then I thought possible, so I grew and learned a lot.
In the children example, the children don't have expectations that someone will be awkward so they treat them like anyone else.
I have heard people talking about low expectations limiting people. You expect your class not to show up on time so they don't. You expect someone to not want to talk to you so they don't.... but I had never thought about how low expectations can literally take away growth opportunities. No one expected me to do anything but dig so I never got the opportunity to do anything else. Thus, the reverse is true too. If you have high expectations of someone, maybe higher then they have for themselves you will give them opportunities to do more (like my professor).
So then the obvious question is how often do we limit ourselves (or those around us) by our low expectations?


*These roles were a little more overlapped and shared the other years I worked in Nauvoo.

Confidence and Experience

I took a ceramics class in my second(?) year of college. I think one of the hardest parts of the class for me was going into the ceramics lab to work on projects when I was not specifically scheduled to be there. I remember walking up to the doors but because they were closed o this particular occasion and generally they were propped open I couldn't bring myself to push them open and go in.
Now, looking back I can totally understand my hesitation but I don't think I would run away anymore (I hope).
This week my sister and I were talking about self-confidence and how to develop it yourself or encourage it in others. The conclusion we came to is that new experiences tend to bring more confidence. There could be two reasons for this. One, if I work long enough on the same thing I learn more of the in and outs of whatever it is (whether it is learning Microsoft Excel or playing frisbee). Thus, I gain confidence in that specific area because I am more comfortable with it.
That would help with confidence in a specific area but if I want to gain more confidence in general I think the key is varied experiences because that way I have more things I can relate to and more experience in trying new things itself. While trying lots of different things perhaps instead of learning the ins and outs of a particular skill I learn the ins and outs of being uncomfortable and what types of things make me uncomfortable and what type of things I can do to alleviate it while still participating.
I'm by no means amazing at this but it is certainly something to think about.