Inadequacy: Rooted in Relative Comparisons

When I took a semester class on ASL I was surprised at how there didn't seem to be a word for big or little that was used by itself. Instead you make the sign for the opposite of what you want to say and say no, not that, and then make the gesture for the other. Basically it is all about the comparison.

Lately I've been thinking about how inadequacies often stem from comparisons. I never thought of myself as good with computers in my family of computer-nerd brothers, and growing up I thought I was terrible with kids because my sister was such a natural with them. I've learned that I'm fairly adept with computers... and I'm pretty good with kids. But with the comparisons around me I had a false idea of normal. It is ironic that inadequacies are based on comparisons, because the comparisons are all so relative.

Perhaps what is most frustrating about all this is that it is really hard to realize that you are making this comparison within a skewed group until you have been removed from the group. When this group happens to be your family this doesn't happen for a while, long enough for your skewed view of yourself to take firm root....