Call me Shrike (1). When I was about fourteen, I wanted an alias that could be used for computer games and my brother's online forum (2), but not just any name, it had to fit me.
My mom taught my siblings and me to love the outdoors, and because of this I wanted to choose a name from nature. I also wanted it to be unusual, and thirdly, it just needed to sound right. I began by looking through my mom's bird and plant books. In the index of her bird book, I came across “shrike.” Check. Check. Check. The first three requirements were now met, but did the bird fit my personality?
A shrike, or butcher bird, is fairly small. Although not the smallest in my family, I am the youngest.
It is called the butcher bird because of its strange practice of catching small animals such as lizards and impaling them on thorns. There it stores its prey for future use. When I first read about this bird I was slightly disturbed by its seemingly disgusting way of storing food. Soon, however, I got over this reserve and found this unusual behavior a fascinating way to make up for their lack of talons, or maybe I am just a little morbid (3). In addition, this method of storing food does suggest their emphasis on preparedness, which is important to me (4). This also seemed fitting because, although I come from a laid back family, I am the feistiest.
Butcher birds have nondescript plumage, it is mostly black, gray, and white. I feel that my appearance is nondescript, just like a shrike (5). When people look past my 'feathers' and get to know me they might find me just as surprising, but hopefully not as disgusting as the shrike (6).
The butcher bird's harsh cry appealed to me as well. At the time I chose my alias I rarely spoke in school, and although I don't consider myself particularly gregarious, I have become less reserved (7). The shrike's call also suited me because I am definitely no song bird!
Finally, like the shrike which lives throughout most of the United States, I have traveled much of the country.
Now I often go by "Shrike" in games. Although I chose the name four years ago, it still fits me well. My love of nature, my preparedness, and my slightly passive-aggressive nature have not changed since then. Shrike was, and is, the perfect name for me (8).
(1) This is a reference to the first line of Moby Dick, which I rebelliously liked, because no one else did. "Call me Ishmael."
(2) I still use this as my default alias for online things. I also continue to feel connected to shrikes.
(3) When my siblings proofread this paper they objected to this word choice. They thought it implied that I was a cutter or just goth. That is not what I meant but I didn't know how else to say it. My friend introduced me last week by saying, "she likes dead things." It's true. I like bones (as you would know if you're read this blog). Perhaps I am a bit morbid.
(4) Sometimes I get weirdly defensive when I don't have something someone needs, even if there is no reason I should have it.
(5) Not only do I feel nondescript but I prefer to dress nondescript. Unlike my sister who wears red because it is her "happy color," I avoid wearing red and some other warm bright colors most of the time because it makes me feel too obvious.
(6) I've decided I might be a bit quirky and most of the time I like that... but I also have a pretty good filter so my odder traits/actions I squelch most of the time. Sometimes I wonder if that is a good thing or not, maybe it is better to be blatantly odd from the beginning... but it is easier to get offended that way.
(7) This continues to be true, I have become less reserved in some situations (but not all). But I have also realized I tend to be pretty blunt, I don't sugarcoat things much, and that might not make my "call" appealing to some.
(8) Well it's been more than 10 years since I choose "shrike" as an alias, and wrote about it... and yet it still seems to fit. Maybe I was a wiser 14 year old than I thought. Or maybe I just want it to fit so I make it. :)
I've been thinking about your word choice for #3 and I can't think of a word for being interested in death that doesn't have negative connotations. I think macabre might be a little better than morbid, but it still isn't right. Which means that I either need a bigger vocabulary, or we don't have positive words for death because we don't think positively about the subject (or both, to be fair).
ReplyDeleteWhen you put it that way it seems kind of surprising doesn't it you would think that there was some sort of word that talks about death in a "this is a natural part of existence" sort of way.
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