You Want an Honest Answer? Which One?

Sixth Grade Lunch. Each class had an assigned set of tables, but at those tables we could sit anywhere. Each table had three attached stools on each side. I always sat on the last table, on the seat closest to the other tables. One day a girl who was more or less my friend, and who sat next to me, got into a fight with some of the other girls. I have no idea about what. Honestly, I was probably reading during it. I think the girl told and she and the other girls went to the Vice Principal's Office to work it out. The next day at lunch I sat down in my seat, and was told I had to move. Apparently, the way the problem had been worked out was to have a new seating arrangement. I was told I had to move down a seat. Really this shouldn't have been a big deal, but it was, and I still get upset about it when I think about this incident. I'm not even entirely sure why.
That day, after I was told to move, I refused. The girls told me I had to. I said "make me." They didn't, and I stayed. Later I was told to report to the guidance counselor's office, which I did, to set up an appointment to talk about it. I broke my first appointment, but when the girls were still telling me to move 3 days later I went and met with my counselor, who casually mentioned that when they had negotiated the solution she had been under the assumption that my seat was actually just an empty chair. All the girls involved had just assumed I would move without complaint. They treated me like an empty chair. Before it was all sorted out I had a meeting with the Vice Principal as well. Eventually, my seat was returned to me. I had fought for it and won. Looking back I'm always surprised that I actually went through all that hassle. It's not really like me, then or now.

But here is why I brought up this long story.

• The girls asked me why I wouldn't move. I told them that it was my chair.
• My Mom asked me why I wouldn't move. I told her that I had sat on that same seat since second grade when my two other friends had taken up the rest of the table. That was probably the first and last year I was truly one of the popular kids (not that I cared about that, but I did care about those friends).
• The counselor asked me why I  wouldn't move. I told her that no one had asked if moving was OK with me, they had just demanded that I change to solve their problems. 
• The Vice Principal asked me why I wouldn't move. I told her that I always sat on the end, at school, at home, in the car, everywhere. "You like your space," she said. "Yes," I answered.

Every single one of those answers is and was true. Every one is also different. So many questions we are asked, every day, have so many true answers. I guess I just find it interesting to think occasionally about why I chose to answer in a particular way.

Here are a few reasons I can think of for why we answer differently with different people, and in different situations.

• Say what is easiest. Like when I told the other girls it was my chair.
• The long answers are more likely to be given to people we are more comfortable with or who are willing to listen. My explanation to my Mom was longest. 
• We change our answers so that the other person will understand. My Vice Principal understood wanting her own space, so I agreed with her that that was the reason.
• Sometimes, like in the above situation, I didn't even fully know myself (still don't) why I chose to do something, so whatever plausible answer that comes to mind gets used.