Several weeks ago I went on a hike with some geology people. One of them is a Muslim boy from Indonesia. When we were driving back I asked him what was the most surprising/confusing thing about this new culture he was currently immersed in. His answer floored me, although I agreed whole-heartedly. He said that he hated how conversations all started with "How are you?" here because that was usually where they ended too. He talked about how impossible it felt to actually get to know people because the small talk killed all chance for connections (well that was my interpretation). He said in Indonesia people often invited each other to go places together to get to know them which was more effective.
Around the same time I moved into a new apartment and found myself at several social events (including church... not always a social event but for what I am talking about here for all intents and purposes it is). I felt like every new conversation was identical to the last. "What's your name?" "Where are you from?" "What are you studying?" "How far along are you in your degree?"
Notice how none of those questions have "Why" at the beginning (I am convinced most conversations get interesting when why is asked).
I kind of just wanted to give up, I mean why bother talking to people when the conversation is so redundant I won't even remember who they are or what we talked about 10 minutes later?
At another activity I decided to try harder and I asked a girl what the most boring thing she did that day was. It was a far more interesting conversation.
I decided I really wanted to ask questions like this more often, throw out the boring questions I mentioned already, but there are two things I didn't like about that question. 1) It is a "favorite" question, and sometimes asking a "favorite" or "most" question is annoying because it puts undue pressure on speaking accurately... I have to think too long about it and that is not really necessary. 2) It focused on a negative aspect of life... I don't want to ask for complaints.
So then I spent some time trying to think up questions that I could ask that weren't boring. Here are a few I thought of:
What was the last animal you saw?
Do you like trees or mountains better?
What inanimate object makes you smile?
What made you smile today?
I asked the trees or mountains question to someone and they said "Why?" which I guess is the epitome of the problem.... non standard questions aren't really seen as quite acceptable, and thus, I often don't have the guts to ask them.... and then I dread asking the boring questions I just don't ask anything...
So is the compromise just asking the boring questions with "why" follow up questions (that works ok sometimes)? Or just to stop caring if people are totally confused when I ask them about odd things?
Of course I could always just stop talking to people I don't already know. I just can't get over how an outsider who had such a different culture background focused on how westerners kill the possibility of relationships before they even begin all with our small talk. Let's stop sabotaging ourselves!
Sunday, November 5, 2017
Education and Faith: A Partnership
Two posts ago I mentioned writing this, so I thought I should actually include it for those who I didn't discuss it with.
Harvard University, founded in 1636, is arguably the first university in what is now the United States. Like many other early colleges and universities, Harvard was founded to train clergymen. This was not a new phenomenon. Throughout medieval Europe, education was predominantly handled by churches with the most well-educated members of society typically being clergymen. During the same period, the middle east flourished under what is now known as the Islamic Golden age. Inspired by words of the prophet Muhammed, and scholars like Al-Zarnuji, Muslims prized education, teaching children from the Quran and sending them to schools that were associated with mosques (Berkey, 2004). During this time Muslim scholars made enormous strides in mathematics, science, philosophy and medicine.
In contrast to this expected partnership between education and religion are the studies found today with titles such as “Why Education Corrodes Religious Faith” (Zucherman, 2014) or “Does Higher Education Experience Undermine Faith -- or Enhance it?” (White, 2012). These studies are inconclusive with individuals backed by statistics coming down on both sides of the issue. As shown by history, however, education does not inherently undermine faith, previously it was an assumed partnership. However, in the modern era college campuses are rarely associated with a specific denomination and their purpose has moved beyond educating clergymen. Instead, because of the diversity among students and faculty, students are often confronted with ideas that challenge their paradigms, and experiences that broaden their knowledge of cultures and beliefs. These types of ideas and experiences bring up questions and sometimes doubts that have the potential to shake the foundations of seedling faith that is blind, dogmatic or untried. However, in my experience, when individual’s faith is based on their personal experiences with divinity and seeking for truth wherever it can be found, then questions become stepping stones for faith.
The broadening questions and the very topics explored in higher education experiences can increase faith, if approached with a mind open to revelation. Historically, one of the reasons early American colonists valued literacy was because they could read the Bible and religious tracts (Miletich), and thus learn about and become closer to their God. Higher education can be valued for the same reason. Learning about science and mathematics is learning about God’s creations and His laws. The study of human nature, God’s own children, using psychology, and anthropology is a way to better understand ourselves and learn to serve those around us. The creation of music, art, and literature celebrates God’s own creative power by practicing the same quality. These topics can impact religious faith for good, but the challenge of learning can also be beneficial.
Two years ago, I started a Master’s program in geology, after studying anthropology as an undergraduate. While taking advanced classes without the extensive geology background of my peers and working with my advisor on my thesis project my own inadequacies have become woefully apparent, making it necessary to lean on the experience and knowledge of others. Learning to ask questions and accept answers, and sometimes the lack thereof, has been crucial to my learning. Working consistently day by day on classwork and my thesis has also been essential to my progress.
These values; humility, patience and diligence, that I have honed in a secular setting are the same values that nourish my faith as I rely on God and His timing, and in the meantime, do the little things to keep Him in my life. However, these and other values can be cultivated in many circumstances including participating in manual labor, missionary work, or being part of a family. No matter the circumstances, working with integrity to achieve something better helps me develop values that when applied to my spiritual life helps to increase my faith in God.
The questions I have explored and the doubts I have overcome, plus the amazing facts, theories, and anecdotes I have learned combined with the values that have become an integral part of my life because of education have brought me closer to God. Understanding that God is not only just, merciful and all-powerful but also all-knowing, is it any wonder that striving for knowledge—becoming like Him—brings me closer to Him as well?
References
Berkey, Jonathan. “Education.” Encyclopedia of Islam and the Muslim World, edited by Richard C Martin, MacMillan Reference USA, 2006.
Miletich, Patricia. “Religion and Literacy in Colonial New England” The Gilder Lehrman Institute of American History, www.gilderlehrman.org/history-by-era/religion-and-eighteenth-century-revivalism/resources/religion-and-literacy-colonial-n.
White, Mercedes. “Does Higher Education Experience Undermine Faith -- or Enhance it?” Deseret News, 11 March 2012: www.deseretnews.com/article/765558804/Does-higher-education-experience-undermine-faith-2-or-enhance-it.html.
Zucherman, Phil. “Why Education Corrodes Religious Faith.” Psychology Today. 3 November 2014, www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-secular-life/201411/why-education-corrodes-religious-faith.
In contrast to this expected partnership between education and religion are the studies found today with titles such as “Why Education Corrodes Religious Faith” (Zucherman, 2014) or “Does Higher Education Experience Undermine Faith -- or Enhance it?” (White, 2012). These studies are inconclusive with individuals backed by statistics coming down on both sides of the issue. As shown by history, however, education does not inherently undermine faith, previously it was an assumed partnership. However, in the modern era college campuses are rarely associated with a specific denomination and their purpose has moved beyond educating clergymen. Instead, because of the diversity among students and faculty, students are often confronted with ideas that challenge their paradigms, and experiences that broaden their knowledge of cultures and beliefs. These types of ideas and experiences bring up questions and sometimes doubts that have the potential to shake the foundations of seedling faith that is blind, dogmatic or untried. However, in my experience, when individual’s faith is based on their personal experiences with divinity and seeking for truth wherever it can be found, then questions become stepping stones for faith.
The broadening questions and the very topics explored in higher education experiences can increase faith, if approached with a mind open to revelation. Historically, one of the reasons early American colonists valued literacy was because they could read the Bible and religious tracts (Miletich), and thus learn about and become closer to their God. Higher education can be valued for the same reason. Learning about science and mathematics is learning about God’s creations and His laws. The study of human nature, God’s own children, using psychology, and anthropology is a way to better understand ourselves and learn to serve those around us. The creation of music, art, and literature celebrates God’s own creative power by practicing the same quality. These topics can impact religious faith for good, but the challenge of learning can also be beneficial.
Two years ago, I started a Master’s program in geology, after studying anthropology as an undergraduate. While taking advanced classes without the extensive geology background of my peers and working with my advisor on my thesis project my own inadequacies have become woefully apparent, making it necessary to lean on the experience and knowledge of others. Learning to ask questions and accept answers, and sometimes the lack thereof, has been crucial to my learning. Working consistently day by day on classwork and my thesis has also been essential to my progress.
These values; humility, patience and diligence, that I have honed in a secular setting are the same values that nourish my faith as I rely on God and His timing, and in the meantime, do the little things to keep Him in my life. However, these and other values can be cultivated in many circumstances including participating in manual labor, missionary work, or being part of a family. No matter the circumstances, working with integrity to achieve something better helps me develop values that when applied to my spiritual life helps to increase my faith in God.
The questions I have explored and the doubts I have overcome, plus the amazing facts, theories, and anecdotes I have learned combined with the values that have become an integral part of my life because of education have brought me closer to God. Understanding that God is not only just, merciful and all-powerful but also all-knowing, is it any wonder that striving for knowledge—becoming like Him—brings me closer to Him as well?
References
Berkey, Jonathan. “Education.” Encyclopedia of Islam and the Muslim World, edited by Richard C Martin, MacMillan Reference USA, 2006.
Miletich, Patricia. “Religion and Literacy in Colonial New England” The Gilder Lehrman Institute of American History, www.gilderlehrman.org/history-by-era/religion-and-eighteenth-century-revivalism/resources/religion-and-literacy-colonial-n.
White, Mercedes. “Does Higher Education Experience Undermine Faith -- or Enhance it?” Deseret News, 11 March 2012: www.deseretnews.com/article/765558804/Does-higher-education-experience-undermine-faith-2-or-enhance-it.html.
Zucherman, Phil. “Why Education Corrodes Religious Faith.” Psychology Today. 3 November 2014, www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-secular-life/201411/why-education-corrodes-religious-faith.
Sunday, October 22, 2017
Jumping to the Rescue
This week a friend bought a box of cards. She was siting next to me when she opened the box. It took her like 30 seconds and a couple of attempts to open it, and in that short amount of time I offered to do it for her. She declined kindly. Not for the first time I realized that at times I am over eager to fix things. I explained to my friend that I didn't think she was incapable it is just that I like figuring out simple mechanisms and making them work. I like it when my roommate hands me an offending package, razor, lid, etc. Instead of being annoying I think it is kind of fascinating to see if I can figure out how it is supposed to work, why it isn't working, and if I can fix it.Later that day I was at this same friend's house and when the drain of her bathroom needed to be drained she said it had to be done by hand because the little plug wasn't hooked up. She then promptly volunteered me for the task, adding "because Becca would think it's cool."
I drained it for her and then reconnected it... because I could.
It made me think, liking to figure things out and fix them is not a bad trait, and it is usually a good one, but realizing why I jump to the rescue and being willing to give the person time to fix their own dilemmas (unless they want help) is good too. However, realizing why I volunteer to the rescue made me wonder about all the times people have jumped to my rescue and I was annoyed... but maybe they just jumped at the chance because they liked to do whatever I was struggling with... not because they think I'm incompetent or whatever.
Sunday, October 8, 2017
Articulate and Connect
In a recent talk given to the women of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints Sister Eubanks encouraged us to be articulate in standing up for what we believe in.
Recently I received an email about a scholarship essay contest. You could choose from several topics and then write an essay about it. They were thoughtful topics and I thought it would be fun to try my hand at it.
It has been a while since I have written an essay but it was fun (well, when I would finally get around to it and give myself time to get into it). I had a week to write it, and mostly worked on it in the evenings but because I didn't have a ton of time I ended up sending my quite rough draft out to my parents and brother. Normally I polish things up a lot more before I let people edit them, so it was interesting to have them see it and then communicate their own opinions and ideas on the subject, some of which I incorporated within the essay.
I realized that as I tried to articulate new ideas not only did my essay change but my ideas developed as well. One of the best parts though was hearing other peoples ideas that I may never have heard if I hadn't included them in the process.
When I first heard Sister Eubanks talk about the importance of being articulate I assumed it was because it is important to stand up for good things and to be heard, but as I worked on this project I realized maybe it is more than that. When we are articulate, or at least voice our opinions or beliefs then it challenges others to think about their own and often to voice those ideas as well. When multiple opinions are heard (not just voiced) that is when connection and communication really occurs. It is from this dialogue that we really learn and maybe even make change possible.
That is really what I like about my blog (I'd forgotten it though). I love when one of my posts triggers a response (whether digital or not) and an exchange of ideas occur.
Recently I received an email about a scholarship essay contest. You could choose from several topics and then write an essay about it. They were thoughtful topics and I thought it would be fun to try my hand at it.
It has been a while since I have written an essay but it was fun (well, when I would finally get around to it and give myself time to get into it). I had a week to write it, and mostly worked on it in the evenings but because I didn't have a ton of time I ended up sending my quite rough draft out to my parents and brother. Normally I polish things up a lot more before I let people edit them, so it was interesting to have them see it and then communicate their own opinions and ideas on the subject, some of which I incorporated within the essay.
I realized that as I tried to articulate new ideas not only did my essay change but my ideas developed as well. One of the best parts though was hearing other peoples ideas that I may never have heard if I hadn't included them in the process.
When I first heard Sister Eubanks talk about the importance of being articulate I assumed it was because it is important to stand up for good things and to be heard, but as I worked on this project I realized maybe it is more than that. When we are articulate, or at least voice our opinions or beliefs then it challenges others to think about their own and often to voice those ideas as well. When multiple opinions are heard (not just voiced) that is when connection and communication really occurs. It is from this dialogue that we really learn and maybe even make change possible.
That is really what I like about my blog (I'd forgotten it though). I love when one of my posts triggers a response (whether digital or not) and an exchange of ideas occur.
Sunday, October 1, 2017
Stereotypes and Identities
In the movie Ever After, a prince who doesn't want to be a king explains his frustrations at his role by saying "to be so defined by your position. To only be seen as what you are, you have no idea how insufferable that is!"
In response, the girl who loves him, but is a servant so she has no right to love him says "You might be surprised!" and then goes on to give an example of a gypsy who is only painted as such.
Several times I have come across people who have said things to me, acting as if they understood who I was based on a life choice or position I am in. For example I have had several people assume that I am passionate about being a career person because I am in a master's program. This is false. I just kind of fell into it... While complaining to my sister (the stay at home mom of a big family) she said that people do the same thing to her, assume who she is because of a life circumstance.
It gets annoying, and yet, it isn't surprising because many stereotypes are there for a reason; they are accurate at least in most cases.
Being defined by positions just seems like a fact of life, but maybe just remembering that I shouldn't be too annoyed when I get pegged for a stereotype that doesn't fit is a start. Plus, it is good to ask questions before assuming. (I know that will shake some people.... it's not like that hasn't been said before).
In response, the girl who loves him, but is a servant so she has no right to love him says "You might be surprised!" and then goes on to give an example of a gypsy who is only painted as such.
Several times I have come across people who have said things to me, acting as if they understood who I was based on a life choice or position I am in. For example I have had several people assume that I am passionate about being a career person because I am in a master's program. This is false. I just kind of fell into it... While complaining to my sister (the stay at home mom of a big family) she said that people do the same thing to her, assume who she is because of a life circumstance.
It gets annoying, and yet, it isn't surprising because many stereotypes are there for a reason; they are accurate at least in most cases.
Being defined by positions just seems like a fact of life, but maybe just remembering that I shouldn't be too annoyed when I get pegged for a stereotype that doesn't fit is a start. Plus, it is good to ask questions before assuming. (I know that will shake some people.... it's not like that hasn't been said before).
Sunday, September 17, 2017
Believing Things
Today I realized that it seems like often people choose to believe or disbelieve things in a completely irrational manner.
A teenage girl told me this week that she didn't believe in the big bang because scientists just say "it happened." I didn't deny that this is what they say... but I think they say it because (in my non-expert opinion) it seems like they don't know all the answers, but the answers they do know are so complicated that a girl in junior high just wouldn't have the background to understand the answer if they did try to explain it.
I also recently heard someone say that they didn't have any idea how cell phones work, they are just grateful they do.
My nephews after countless warnings to not touch cacti (and having done so themselves in the past) insisted on doing so again only to get a hand full or spines instead.
I just looked for random facts on google, and found this one "There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball."
Sometimes we can't understand things so we believe them to be false (like the teenage girl).
But sometimes we can't understand things and we just take it for granted (like cell phones).
Sometimes things are simple and ordinary and yet we still can't quite take someone else's word for it... or even our own (like my nephews).
But sometimes things are not ordinary and we have no understanding to base even an assumption on but we believe them anyway, for no reason, except that someone else said it (golf balls).
So we don't always believe things just because they are ordinary, or extraordinary. We also don't believe things just because we have first hand knowledge or have no knowledge of the subject. So really why do we believe some things and not others?
A teenage girl told me this week that she didn't believe in the big bang because scientists just say "it happened." I didn't deny that this is what they say... but I think they say it because (in my non-expert opinion) it seems like they don't know all the answers, but the answers they do know are so complicated that a girl in junior high just wouldn't have the background to understand the answer if they did try to explain it.
I also recently heard someone say that they didn't have any idea how cell phones work, they are just grateful they do.
My nephews after countless warnings to not touch cacti (and having done so themselves in the past) insisted on doing so again only to get a hand full or spines instead.
I just looked for random facts on google, and found this one "There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball."
Sometimes we can't understand things so we believe them to be false (like the teenage girl).
But sometimes we can't understand things and we just take it for granted (like cell phones).
Sometimes things are simple and ordinary and yet we still can't quite take someone else's word for it... or even our own (like my nephews).
But sometimes things are not ordinary and we have no understanding to base even an assumption on but we believe them anyway, for no reason, except that someone else said it (golf balls).
So we don't always believe things just because they are ordinary, or extraordinary. We also don't believe things just because we have first hand knowledge or have no knowledge of the subject. So really why do we believe some things and not others?
Sunday, September 10, 2017
Brain Powers
This week the work I've been doing has been exhausting mentally. It consists of solving unending small problems or at least making decisions about what to do about them. In between all the problem sleuthing and solving and decision making it is mindnumbingly dull.
Every afternoon I'd come home and ignore the last box of junk that I had not unpacked yet because I didn't know what to do with it.
I thought these things were unrelated until I realized that they take the same kind of brain power (decision/problem solving brain power). No wonder I just couldn't bring myself to unpack after working all day with that kind of stuff.
A while ago a friend told me that she only had so much executive brain and being the president of a club was just too much planning on top of everything else she was doing with her executive brain.
As an undergrad I often tried to take some sort of math or science class along with my more writing or art based classes every semester. I liked the change of pace that they provide for each other. It almost feels rejuvenating when you can use your brain in a different way.
So that then begs the question what kinds of brain powers are there? Decision/problem solving, mathematical, creative, patience, social?
Every afternoon I'd come home and ignore the last box of junk that I had not unpacked yet because I didn't know what to do with it.
I thought these things were unrelated until I realized that they take the same kind of brain power (decision/problem solving brain power). No wonder I just couldn't bring myself to unpack after working all day with that kind of stuff.
A while ago a friend told me that she only had so much executive brain and being the president of a club was just too much planning on top of everything else she was doing with her executive brain.
As an undergrad I often tried to take some sort of math or science class along with my more writing or art based classes every semester. I liked the change of pace that they provide for each other. It almost feels rejuvenating when you can use your brain in a different way.
So that then begs the question what kinds of brain powers are there? Decision/problem solving, mathematical, creative, patience, social?
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