Jumping to the Rescue

This week a friend bought a box of cards. She was siting next to me when she opened the box. It took her like 30 seconds and a couple of attempts to open it, and in that short amount of time  I offered to do it for her. She declined kindly. Not for the first time I realized that at times I am over eager to fix things. I explained to my friend that I didn't think she was incapable it is just that I like figuring out simple mechanisms and making them work. I like it when my roommate hands me an offending package, razor, lid, etc. Instead of being annoying I think it is kind of fascinating to see if I can figure out how it is supposed to work, why it isn't working, and if I can fix it.
Later that day I was at this same friend's house and when the drain of her bathroom needed to be drained she said it had to be done by hand because the little plug wasn't hooked up. She then promptly volunteered me for the task, adding "because Becca would think it's cool."
I drained it for her and then reconnected it... because I could.

It made me think, liking to figure things out and fix them is not a bad trait, and it is usually a good one, but realizing why I jump to the rescue and being willing to give the person time to fix their own dilemmas (unless they want help) is good too. However, realizing why I volunteer to the rescue made me wonder about all the times people have jumped to my rescue and I was annoyed... but maybe they just jumped at the chance because they liked to do whatever I was struggling with... not because they think I'm incompetent or whatever.

Articulate and Connect

In a recent talk given to the women of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints Sister Eubanks encouraged us to be articulate in standing up for what we believe in.
Recently I received an email about a scholarship essay contest. You could choose from several topics and then write an essay about it. They were thoughtful topics and I thought it would be fun to try my hand at it.
It has been a while since I have written an essay but it was fun (well, when I would finally get around to it and give myself time to get into it). I had a week to write it, and mostly worked on it in the evenings but because I didn't have a ton of time I ended up sending my quite rough draft out to my parents and brother. Normally I polish things up a lot more before I let people edit them, so it was interesting to have them see it and then communicate their own opinions and ideas on the subject, some of which I incorporated within the essay.
I realized that as I tried to articulate new ideas not only did my essay change but my ideas developed as well. One of the best parts though was hearing other peoples ideas that I may never have heard if I hadn't included them in the process.
When I first heard Sister Eubanks talk about the importance of being articulate I assumed it was because it is important to stand up for good things and to be heard, but as I worked on this project I realized maybe it is more than that. When we are articulate, or at least voice our opinions or beliefs then it challenges others to think about their own and often to voice those ideas as well. When multiple opinions are heard (not just voiced) that is when connection and communication really occurs. It is from this dialogue that we really learn and maybe even make change possible.
That is really what I like about my blog (I'd forgotten it though). I love when one of my posts triggers a response (whether digital or not) and an exchange of ideas occur.

Stereotypes and Identities

In the movie Ever After, a prince who doesn't want to be a king explains his frustrations at his role by saying "to be so defined by your position. To only be seen as what you are, you have no idea how insufferable that is!"
In response, the girl who loves him, but is a servant so she has no right to love him says "You might be surprised!" and then goes on to give an example of a gypsy who is only painted as such.

Several times I have come across people who have said things to me, acting as if they understood who I was based on a life choice or position I am in. For example I have had several people assume that I am passionate about being a career person because I am in a master's program. This is false. I just kind of fell into it... While complaining to my sister (the stay at home mom of a big family) she said that people do the same thing to her, assume who she is because of a life circumstance.
It gets annoying, and yet, it isn't surprising because many stereotypes are there for a reason; they are accurate at least in most cases.
Being defined by positions just seems like a fact of life, but maybe just remembering that I shouldn't be too annoyed when I get pegged for a stereotype that doesn't fit is a start. Plus, it is good to ask questions before assuming. (I know that will shake some people.... it's not like that hasn't been said before).

Believing Things

Today I realized that it seems like often people choose to believe or disbelieve things in a completely irrational manner.
A teenage girl told me this week that she didn't believe in the big bang because scientists just say "it happened." I didn't deny that this is what they say... but I think they say it because (in my non-expert opinion) it seems like they don't know all the answers, but the answers they do know are so complicated that a girl in junior high just wouldn't have the background to understand the answer if they did try to explain it.
I also recently heard someone say that they didn't have any idea how cell phones work, they are just grateful they do.
My nephews after countless warnings to not touch cacti (and having done so themselves in the past) insisted on doing so again only to get a hand full or spines instead.
I just looked for random facts on google, and found this one "There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball."

Sometimes we can't understand things so we believe them to be false (like the teenage girl).
But sometimes we can't understand things and we just take it for granted (like cell phones).
Sometimes things are simple and ordinary and yet we still can't quite take someone else's word for it... or even our own (like my nephews).
But sometimes things are not ordinary and we have no understanding to base even an assumption on but we believe them anyway, for no reason, except that someone else said it (golf balls).

So we don't always believe things just because they are ordinary, or extraordinary. We also don't believe things just because we have first hand knowledge or have no knowledge of the subject. So really why do we believe some things and not others?

Brain Powers

This week the work I've been doing has been exhausting mentally. It consists of solving unending small problems or at least making decisions about what to do about them. In between all the problem sleuthing and solving and decision making it is mindnumbingly dull.
Every afternoon I'd come home and ignore the last box of junk that I had not unpacked yet because I didn't know what to do with it.
I thought these things were unrelated until I realized that they take the same kind of brain power (decision/problem solving brain power). No wonder I just couldn't bring myself to unpack after working all day with that kind of stuff.
A while ago a friend told me that she only had so much executive brain and being the president of a club was just too much planning on top of everything else she was doing with her executive brain.
As an undergrad I often tried to take some sort of math or science class along with my more writing or art based classes every semester. I liked the change of pace that they provide for each other. It almost feels rejuvenating when you can use your brain in a different way.
So that then begs the question what kinds of brain powers are there? Decision/problem solving, mathematical, creative, patience, social?

Desk Space

So I am moving out of the grad cubes this week (they are kicking me out for new blood), thus I decided I would take a few pictures first.

My desk for the last two years (I had this desk before I had an apartment here)

This is my desk. Most of the papers on the right are fun personal mementos from people, the ones on the other sides are references for school stuff. My paperclip change is on the right and my textbooks and folders are on the shelf. My rocks, bones, and dinosaur figurines re in the left corner. The drawers are filled with snacks, scrap paper, old school papers, useful things (like calculators, rulers, etc.). The bottom left hand corner drawer is opened slightly (not intentional), that is the drawer I always pull out to rest my feet on.

I think it is a pretty neat desk, overall, with some personal touches. I think the grad cubes are interesting because each person has the same desk but they use (and decorate) their desks very differently.

One guy likes using his desk but if he is not using it currently everything is spotless, there is nothing on his desk, everything he has is hiding in a drawer (he even took his name tag down for a while... which caused confusion).

Then a couple of the guys use their desks as storage area, so they just get piled with junk and they never use it for anything else.

Another guy has junk all over his desk but his shelves are a well displayed rock collection.

A couple of other people have super organized desks with their school stuff and office supplies are perfectly in order but they also have family pictures enshrined on the peg board.

I like my desk clean, and I don't mind a little personalization but most of it is in the way I display my rocks not in personal items per se (except for the paperclips :) ). What is interesting, but unsurprising is that how we use our desks reflects our personality, displaying quirkiness, organization, openness, etc.

People are different. 

"Words are Hard"

This is the phrase that one of my mission companions would always say when either of us stumbled over our words.
This week I came across two different words that are commonly used but still used vaguely (at least I use them vaguely). It makes it difficult to communicate ideas when you and your audience may not understand a word in the same way.
First: Exactness
In the LDS church people often talk about obeying commandments (and rules) with exactness. I have never particularly liked the phrase I always read it with exactness being synonymous with perfectness, which is just humanly impossible (and God does not ask the impossible) Then, this week someone said that obeying with exactness meant there was no gray in life, only black and white... and nice(?) as that thought is I just don't see the world as black and white.... So I looked up exactness on google. It reads "the quality of being accurate or correct; precision." Which as you may notice says nothing about perfect.... I looked at another article about accuracy and precision. In my words accurate means being correct while precision means consistent. And I think I can obey with correctness and consistency even when I can't obey with perfection. The best thing about the above mentioned article, at least for my purposes is the image showing what accuracy and precision looks like when you are shooting at a target. Notice how even with high accuracy and precision the shots are not all dead center. So, I guess I have no problem with the phrase obey with exactness anymore... I just had to look up the word I though I knew.
Second: Mature
A group of my geology friends were talking about which of us was the most mature. One girl was nominated as the most mature (even though she is the youngest of us), but then I got wondering if we were just judging on who the most controlling person was. This one was a little trickier to find the right definition (we were obviously talking about physical maturity or the maturity of an industry). But I found this definition on the Merriam-Webster online dictionary "having of showing the mental and emotional qualities of an adult." I think that is roughly what we were all thinking of for as the definition of mature.... but it is still a vague term. I mean does that mean we should have been judging on the adeptness of planning out our lives and jobs, or the ability to control our stress in appropriate ways, or being consistently reliable in what we say we will do... I have no idea... I guess that one we would have to define for the moment.
Sometimes I am just floored that communication is possible at all with how messy and imperfect words (and nonverbal communication) are.