Memory

Think of a memory that these things remind you of (that is if you want, I'm not going to be bossy):
a) the song The Spirit of God
b) the smell of skunks
c) the sound of crickets or cicadas
d) the sight of a brick sidewalk engraved with names
e) the taste of apple pie
f) the feel of fluffy cat
g) the idea of trust

Which memories came easiest?
This week I've been thinking about how we remember things. Mostly I remember things spatially. When people ask me what someone I met looks like, I draw a blank. Someone asked if one of my teachers was bald. I had absolutely no idea. I feel like that should have been kind of obvious. It turns out he wasn't. But, I could tell them where they were standing in the room (to the left side of the desk).
I was sharing some memories I had with my parents and I realized that almost always I start with "I was standing and they were over there," or something like that. Also, I'm more likely to remember if that person said something interesting, or told a story or something of that nature.
I know other people that can describe someone they saw once with surprising detail, or people who have songs that bring them back powerfully to a certain time and place.
Although, like I said I'm quite spatially drawn, occasionally sounds (like a car door slamming) smells (peppers) or other things can trigger memories. I suppose triggering memories and the way you remember may be different, but still something to think about. I wonder if knowing your ideal recall can help you learn to remember things more accurately.

Blankness

Just a week ago or so I started a new journal. I like empty journals, I think they are exciting, mysterious. Just think in a year or a month those pages will tell what exciting and boring things I've done. Those pages will know my future (that will then be my past). I don't know. I just find it intriguing.
Empty blogposts are not nearly as exciting. :) They intimidate me, because perhaps I didn't have any interesting thoughts, or make any cool paintings, so it;s there taunting me.
So here is for consistency and an end of this weeks blankness.

Perfection

So I have noticed that different people have different things that they must have perfect. It annoys them when they aren't. Some people have to have things perfectly cleaned or all the cupboards all the way closed. Others have to have their sewing projects perfect or their bookcases uncluttered and all lined up. I assume that most people have something they have to have perfect even if it is not immediately evident.
So do you want to read what mine is?
As some of you know I don't care if there is a bit of clutter around, or if there are water spots on the mirror or if the wall hangings are cutesy. But, I really don't like stuff around that I have made that looks junky. It bugs me. I want the stuff I make to look professional and nice. Whether it is a wooden outside nativity set or a painting or something else. When I was in Activity Girls (a church group for 8-11 year olds) I was given a ceramic nativity set to paint. We could choose a realistic looking set or one where all the characters are bears. I choose the bears, and now looking back I believe it was because the bears were less intimidating. It doesn't look quite as bad to have badly painted teddy bears as it would to have badly painted "realistic" people. Anyway, needless to say every December they drive me crazy because I see them and think those are so ugly, and really poorly done. Especially when my older sister had done one of them (so there was one king that looked nice). So this year, I tried to remedy the situation, I repainted almost all of them (I didn't finish doing 2 of them, and I left the one my sister had done but I started), and now it doesn't bug me when I walk by them.
Happy New Years, by the way.

 Before (and it doesn't show the details of how bad it was)

After

Routines

Routines are weird things. Day after day they are the same and I get bored with them and wish they weren't there. But then without them nothing ever gets done, I get tired of inconsistency and wish for "normalcy." Because of Christmas and time off from work and visitors there hasn't been much of my normal routines these past couple of weeks. It's been fun but it has also kind of been tiring. Not so much tiring because of everything we've been doing, although I did get sore from sledding. But tired because I feel like I haven't accomplished anything, and tired because sometimes I don't know how to deal with the situations that arise, where I should be and what I should be doing. So, in some ways I'm glad the vacation is almost done.

A Christmas Poem

I'm not super happy with it, some of it is pretty clunky, but here it is anyway. Merry Christmas.

The Nativity is set up, to bless the Christmas days,
To remind us that the Father, sent his Son to earth, to save.
Joseph stands nearby protecting, his wife and little one.
Mary kneels beside the cradle pondering, all that has been done.
The shepherds sent by angles come, to see the Lamb of God.
The wisemen journey seeking, the Light below the star.
The angels from the Heavens, sing praises to their King.
The stable stands mute witness, that He will shelter all.
He needs no palace nor kingdom, to rule or reign above.
As a babe He was potential. Our faith in Him was strong.
Now he lives again, our Savior, our life, our song.

Jane Eyre

In High School I once did a Relay for Life with some of my friends. Having no idea what it would be like I brought a book to read. Just in case. Unfortunately it was drizzly most of the day/night, and my backpack was too close to the edge of the tent so my book got somewhat waterlogged. It was a borrowed book. I ended up buying another copy of the book to give to the person I borrowed it from because I felt bad. The book, as you might have guessed from the post title was Jane Eyre. Although I felt bad about ruining someone else's book I wasn't sorry to get my own (although waterlogged) copy.

I liked it when I read it the first time. I just finished reading it the second time and I don't know how I missed the power behind it. Jane has a moral strength you don't often see in books, especially not in the more romantic genres.

Here are a few quotes from it that really connected with me, this time around.

"I had the means of an excellent education placed within my reach; a fondness for some of my studies, and a desire to excel in all, together wit h a great delight in pleasing my teachers, especially such as I loved, urged me on:"          -p98

This is how I felt about my schooling.

"Life, however, was yet in my possession; with all of its requirements, and pains, and responsibilities. The burden must be carried; the want provided for; the suffering endured; the responsibility fulfilled."       -p365

I liked how she described life and the responsibility that is a part of it.

"Reserved people often really need the frank discussion of their sentiments and griefs more than the expansive."         -p416

Sentimental December

Last week I was annoyed when I heard Christmas songs, and shook my head at Christmas displays in the stores. Now it's perfectly acceptable, rather nice actually. I feel like jumping into Christmas before Thanksgiving or even Halloween are plagued by a grass is greener mentality. Meaning they are ignoring the now in favor of a hazy future, even if that future looks good.
Anyway. As it is December first, and thus the Christmas season in my books I unpacked my few Christmas possessions. There is something enchanting about blowing off the dust of forgetfulness and pulling out old familiar items that seem to speak through the hands, whispering of past pleasantness with friends and a different me, even if there are no distinct memories. That I think, is part of the magic of the season. There are so many material items, foods, songs, and acted out traditions that only happen at Christmas that over and over again that enchanted dust is blown off.
The other day I was talking with my parents and brother about the one time we had Christmas with my grandparents. None of us remembered it very well at all. We decided that because it had been so entirely different from our other Christmases, so few of those memory things were unpacked or done that it hardly seemed like Christmas and so it faded from our minds like it barely existed.

Our DecemBear Advent Calandar