Jumping to the Rescue

This week a friend bought a box of cards. She was siting next to me when she opened the box. It took her like 30 seconds and a couple of attempts to open it, and in that short amount of time  I offered to do it for her. She declined kindly. Not for the first time I realized that at times I am over eager to fix things. I explained to my friend that I didn't think she was incapable it is just that I like figuring out simple mechanisms and making them work. I like it when my roommate hands me an offending package, razor, lid, etc. Instead of being annoying I think it is kind of fascinating to see if I can figure out how it is supposed to work, why it isn't working, and if I can fix it.
Later that day I was at this same friend's house and when the drain of her bathroom needed to be drained she said it had to be done by hand because the little plug wasn't hooked up. She then promptly volunteered me for the task, adding "because Becca would think it's cool."
I drained it for her and then reconnected it... because I could.

It made me think, liking to figure things out and fix them is not a bad trait, and it is usually a good one, but realizing why I jump to the rescue and being willing to give the person time to fix their own dilemmas (unless they want help) is good too. However, realizing why I volunteer to the rescue made me wonder about all the times people have jumped to my rescue and I was annoyed... but maybe they just jumped at the chance because they liked to do whatever I was struggling with... not because they think I'm incompetent or whatever.

Articulate and Connect

In a recent talk given to the women of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints Sister Eubanks encouraged us to be articulate in standing up for what we believe in.
Recently I received an email about a scholarship essay contest. You could choose from several topics and then write an essay about it. They were thoughtful topics and I thought it would be fun to try my hand at it.
It has been a while since I have written an essay but it was fun (well, when I would finally get around to it and give myself time to get into it). I had a week to write it, and mostly worked on it in the evenings but because I didn't have a ton of time I ended up sending my quite rough draft out to my parents and brother. Normally I polish things up a lot more before I let people edit them, so it was interesting to have them see it and then communicate their own opinions and ideas on the subject, some of which I incorporated within the essay.
I realized that as I tried to articulate new ideas not only did my essay change but my ideas developed as well. One of the best parts though was hearing other peoples ideas that I may never have heard if I hadn't included them in the process.
When I first heard Sister Eubanks talk about the importance of being articulate I assumed it was because it is important to stand up for good things and to be heard, but as I worked on this project I realized maybe it is more than that. When we are articulate, or at least voice our opinions or beliefs then it challenges others to think about their own and often to voice those ideas as well. When multiple opinions are heard (not just voiced) that is when connection and communication really occurs. It is from this dialogue that we really learn and maybe even make change possible.
That is really what I like about my blog (I'd forgotten it though). I love when one of my posts triggers a response (whether digital or not) and an exchange of ideas occur.

Stereotypes and Identities

In the movie Ever After, a prince who doesn't want to be a king explains his frustrations at his role by saying "to be so defined by your position. To only be seen as what you are, you have no idea how insufferable that is!"
In response, the girl who loves him, but is a servant so she has no right to love him says "You might be surprised!" and then goes on to give an example of a gypsy who is only painted as such.

Several times I have come across people who have said things to me, acting as if they understood who I was based on a life choice or position I am in. For example I have had several people assume that I am passionate about being a career person because I am in a master's program. This is false. I just kind of fell into it... While complaining to my sister (the stay at home mom of a big family) she said that people do the same thing to her, assume who she is because of a life circumstance.
It gets annoying, and yet, it isn't surprising because many stereotypes are there for a reason; they are accurate at least in most cases.
Being defined by positions just seems like a fact of life, but maybe just remembering that I shouldn't be too annoyed when I get pegged for a stereotype that doesn't fit is a start. Plus, it is good to ask questions before assuming. (I know that will shake some people.... it's not like that hasn't been said before).